Monday, February 21, 2005

Ladies, Am I Doing Something Right or Wrong??

Someone of the female gender please explain this one to me. ML emailed me on Friday night. The email was simple saying that even though I probably didn't want to speak to her, it was important and to contact her. So, when you've broken up with someone and you get this sort of message, you start to imagine scenarios (i.e. I'm on my way to being a father). Well, it wasn't that because I started to think that if that were the case, I would've known about it a long time ago. Next, I remembered something stupid I said when I went for a last visit. Let me detail this a bit more.......

The last time I went to see ML was right before X-Mas. Truth is, she asked me to go down because I wouldn't be able to afford to visit until about the middle of January (gotta pay off that X-Mas stuff). I told her that I couldn't afford to. She said not to worry and to just get down there and she'd pay for everything. Now, my pride wouldn't let me just accept this, so I go down and tell her that I will pay her back for everything. And when we split, she made a comment that I knew her address and where to send the money I "owed" her.

So cut back to Friday's email. I immediately send her back a note saying that if she is worried about the money I "owe" her, that I will repay her when I get back my tax refund. SO, the next day I get note telling me that I'm an ass and that I jumped to conclusions without giving her a chance. Of course I reply saying I wasn't trying to be mean or an ass. But when you consider how bad we left things, what am I supposed to think? Emails fly back and forth all day and I decide to call. I leave a message telling her she can call if she gets the chance. Then I get a note saying to forget it, that she doesn't want to argue or take the chance on getting her feelings hurt again, and that I "was" special to her but that it is over now and that we both know it.

First of all, weren't my assumptions valid? I mean, when the last thing you hear about is the money, isn't it valid to assume that is what is important when she contacts me? Secondly, why would she contact me after all the venom she has spewed only a month ago? I only need to remember that is a girl who bragged (and rightly so) that there were 100 guys lined up for a shot and that every male student she student teaches is, in her words, "all about this." Is it the fact that I'm not on my knees begging (or not even speaking to her for that matter) that is driving her crazy? She repeatedly let me know that guys in her past would do anything for her.

I will not go back to her and I haven't responded to the last email. But I just want to learn from all of this. If I can learn something about myself or about relationships, then no matter how poorly a relationship is or how terribly it end, it is worthwhile. So any insights are greatly appreciated.

6 comments:

mariposatomica said...

Your best bet is to never assume...

Mixed Up said...

Yes, assuming is bad. Bad, bad, bad.

Elenamary said...

Knowing nothing about you, her or your relationship, you can totally disregard this. It wasn't a good idea to assume that was why she wanted to get in touch with you. If I had wanted to get in touch with you after a break-up and you thought I was contacting you for money when it was a completly different reason, I'd feel hurt.
Anyway, again I know nothing about either of you or the relationship.

Cincysundevil said...

Mariposa, Mixedup, and Elenamary ..
Thanks for the comments and insight. I am really learning a great lesson here not only in relationships but in life. I should've given her the benefit of a doubt; maybe I was a bit hurt or angry and when she contacted me, I lashed out.

If you have any other thoughts on this, please let me know.

NML said...

Cincy, yes you did jump to conclusions, but you can't really be blamed for that when you take into account all of the other shit that happened when you broke up. However, never assume. But, just to rock the boat a bit more, who the hell does she think she is? You're not a toy that she can pull out and play with when it suits her! She said some really shitty things to you when it ended and she was quite arrogant, so you have every right to be annoyed. She's playing games and because you're not running around chasing her arrogant ass, she's dropped you the email to see if you'll jump. If she has anything else to say, let her be the one to come back to you and say it. Don't chase her up about it. Of course, this is just my opinion and i could be wrong....;-)

trix said...

sweetie, get a new email account. she's starting to drain me, too.