Thursday, January 26, 2006

A Rather Telling Quiz

Maybe I am too nice of a guy. After all, Pete Parker was the nice guy (although he ended up with the girl in the end).

Your results:
You are Spider-Man
The Flash
Iron Man
Green Lantern
Wonder Woman
You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

So tell me, which Superhero are you? (This quiz didn't appear to include the greatest comic book ever, X-Men ... yeah, I'm showing my geek side)

Even more geeky ... I am so stoked to see this: LOOK AT THIS

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Truth Is Out There .. Now If America Will Listen

This is something that I believe strongly in. I believe in our system of justice and government. I don't mean that I think it isnt' corrupted by big business and wealthy interests. It is. I don't mean that I approve of the Anti-Christ and his adminstration of greed and lies. I do not. I don't mean that I think we should invade nations based on a hearsay guised as military intelligence. We should not. I don't mean that I believe that those in prison have no rights. Every American has rights. I don't mean that I believe you're guilty because you've "convicted". Even our system is imperfect.

What I do mean is that I believe the guiding principles and ideals upon which our nation was founded are among the very best in history. Among these ideals is the cornerstone of our nation, the Constitution. Those rights guaranteed are supreme among ideals. And IT IS THE SUPREME LAW OF THE LAND.

The 4th Amendment has been interpreted time and time again to mean that a warrant shall be based upon probable cause and by a magistrate or judge. A warrant is needed to wiretap any US citizen. Now the Anti-Christ and his minions have now all but declared that this Amendment doesn't apply to them. Imagine, the mis-leader of this nation declaring that he can usurp the ultimate law of the land. He is breaking the law and yet the right-wingers will simply say it is needed for "national security". God bless those protesters above for busting in on Gonzales when he was trying to defend usurping the Constitution.

Is it a hassle to get a warrant? A bit but not as much of a hassle as it used to be. Warrants can be issued pretty much over the phone. With the click of a button, an email or a template for a warrant can be sent and signed within minutes. If you are already at the point where you can't wait a few minutes for a warrant, chances are you've alredy been listening and any evidence at that point might not be admissible in court.

As flawed as our justice system is, it is the best in the world. I believe firmly in the principle that we, as a society, would rather let a 100 guilty go free so that an innocent man is set free rather than imprison 100 guilty at the expense of one innocent man being in prison. When we override the basic principles of our justice system, we show that we have no faith in it no matter the situation. The Anti-Christ in the White House and his evil horde have shown the world they have no faith in our system of justice and they do not believe in the supreme law of our great nation.

Monday, January 23, 2006

One For The Thumb

This is the problem with being a sports fan. I have proclaimed my love of my football team in the past. Now that they're going to the Superbowl, all of a sudden everyone will think I'm a band wagon fan. In fact, I blogged about how much I fucking hate the Patriots and mentioned how they seemed to have my team's number. Still, I have already had some people doing the "Sure you're a Steelers fan" thing.

I probably shouldn't have to blog about the fact I am a fan because it looks too much like "Me thinks the dude doth protest too much". BUT I will tell you ... I am stoked.

The Christmas gift I remember the most were my Pittsburgh Steelers PJ's I got when I was in 2nd grade. I don't know why I remember them so well. They were this yellow with black cuffs job that was probably made of some sort of synthetic highly flamable and toxic material. But hey, it was the 70's then; hell, the river in Cleveland caught fire back in those days.

But I was one of those kids playing football during lunch. I don't know what it was that made so many of the kids in my school Steelers fans during the 70's and early 80's. Maybe it was because we were working class kids and the Steelers have that blue-collar ethic of just shut your mouth and get the job done. We always saw the Dallas Cowboys as a Texas team out there in Eastern New Mexico and the only people who seemed to be Cowboy fans were transplanted Texans and well ... non-minorities. Every Hispanic and African-American kid I knew were fans of anyone but the Cowboys. We were inundated with Dallas Cowboy TV shows, radio programs, and newspaper coverage. In those days, the Broncos were a joke for the most part and the Cardinals were just a dream. The only other teams near us were the Chiefs and the Oilers.

But the Steelers represented that team that could beat the flashy and loud mouthed Cowboys. I almost sense that there was a racial / ethnic / socioeconomic divide among people where I grew up about football. The working class and the minorities seemed to be Steelers and Raiders fans while the wealthy and non-minorities seemed to be Cowboy fans.

Aside from that though, I stuck by this team. I was there when Chuck Noll left. I was there during the Bubby Brister era. I was there during the lean years. I suffered through Mark Malone (yeah, he was an Arizona State alum but terrible in the NFL) and Kordell Stewart. I watched the Cowboys finally get one back from us (those bastards).

And now they're back in the big dance. I've been waiting since I watched the Steelers win in 1980. The chance is here and it looks like it's going to be a huge game. I've got to get out my Steelers jersey with my name on it for game and wave my Terrible Towel!!!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Saturday sucks

Some observations from working at this 2nd rate gift shop this weekend:

1. This place carries some of the shittiest, tackiest gifts ever. Who wants to pay $4.99 for a pen that has a couple of colored feathers and a clear globe on top? How do you rationalize selling children's meds for 5X what you'd pay anywhere else? They sell these cheap Atlanta Braves caps that have those really big, shitty letters on the side. Seriously, there is an Exxon station up the road that sells this same cap for $5 and at least you can get a paper and a hot dog (yeah, those gas station hot dogs; I'm the asshole they fix 'em for; I love 'em).

2. The shadiest people come into this shop because it's in a hotel. First, on New Year's Eve, I had a hooker come in buying condoms. How did I know she was a hooker? First off, the rooms were like $300 a night for the holiday; she was wearing a band aid .... a la Nelly style; she was missing a tooth; and she was wearing what looked like a rabbit fur coat. Interestingly enough, she was actually one of the nicest people to come in there that night. The second shadiest was a guy at a conference. He skulked around the store like your trenchcoat wearing uncle walking through the shoe department at a Wal-Mart, hunched over like he's got an appendenge coming out of his crotch. Turns out, he's got a wedding ring on and he's buying condoms. He waited 'til everyone left the shop and then all but ran up to buy a 3 pack of rubbers. I should've poked a hole in them with a needle to teach this fuck a lesson.

3. The average customer here is a 45 y.o. bored housewife whose only thing to do is to shop all fucking day. These are the same kinds of people who wear reindeer sweaters at X-Mas or fly those stupid fucking flags with an easter egg during the spring. Essentially, the Oprah Winfrey studio audience.

4. The hotel hosts conferences specifically for the socially inept and hideous. Why can't they host the national conference for The Association of Young Slutty Sexual Massage Therapists? Why is the only conferences they host is for herds of 300 lb. "female" proctology nurses?

5. Technically, I'm not supposed to sit or read during my time here. Yeah .... right .... I'm sitting on the counter reading Penthouse Forum. Maybe someday I'll be able to submit a "true-life" adventure about how I went camping and some Playboy Playmaters lost all of their clothes in the river and needed to have hot lesbian sex and 3somes to stay warm all weekend.

6. Yeah, like the pic, I work with assholes all day .......

Anyone else have some observations about their job?

Friday, January 20, 2006

What The Devil Actually Likes ...

So, I'm quite sure everyone is sick of me bitching about ML and what I hate, so let's see some things I actually like for a change:

1. Deep Dish Pizza: I'm talking like the kinda pizza that actually weighs like 7 pounds when they bring it over to you with enough cheese to plug you up for 2 days. There was a great place in Albuquerque (yes, it's true) that made a superb Chicago style deep dish. I could never eat more than 2 slices at a sitting; at those moments, I had just became everything I hated.

2. Ska / Reggae /Punk /Emo: These are all so interrelated, it's ridiculous to speak of one without the others. I've blogged about my love of reggae and ska before, so I won't regale you again with my tales of my love of the genre; the tales of a young Devil in Florida seeing Less Than Jake, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and the Dance Hall Crashers before they all hit it big; the tales of a young Devil in Docs with a flat cap.
For a great article on ska and reggae, check this out.

3. Camping: I love camping. I really do. I'm kind of a camping snob though. If I'm not in the mountains somewhere, it's not camping to me. If there is not a huge campfire, it's not camping. I love drinking outdoors with friends in the middle of nowhere being as loud as you want. There is that primal essence to camping; you're somewhat exposed to the elements and you've got fire. One of the things I love best in this world is to sit by the campfire once everyone is asleep and just ponder life. Fortunately, I never had this guy trying to get me to rub bug spray on his body ... actually, I'm always trying to get the girls to rub it on me. And yes, this skit from SNL is the funniest skit ever.

4. Al Franken: The last of the raging liberals. He just doesn't attack, he brings the facts which I love. He confronts that mouthpiece of the Bush administration and all around bitch, Ann Coulter with her words and with facts. He punked Bill O'Reilly by exposing him as a liar when O'Reilly claimed he was an independent when in fact, he had been a registered Republican for like 12 years. He doesn't throw out bold faced lies in the guise of fact like that drug addict Limbaugh does. No, he digs beneath what the right-wing proganda machine puts out and pulls out the facts. I'd love to go work for this guy and do his research all day long, digging up shit on the Anti-Christ in the White House and the Evil Empire known as the GOP.

5. Sleep: I love sleep. God, I love sleep. I could sleep all day if I was comfortable enough. I live by the philosophy of my drill sergeants: a good troop never stands when he can sit, he never runs when he can walk, and he never stays awake when he can sleep because you might not get to do it again soon. Sleeping is that time when everything is possible, including me being a super stud with da' ladies. I know it's only a fantasy, but damnit, they're my dreams!! Ms. Belluci, watch out; I'll see you in a few hours.

6. Academia: Maybe it's the insular world. Maybe it's the fact that you can express your opinion free from the right-wing proganda cock suckers. Or maybe, it's 21 year old coeds in half shirts and tiny shorts. Whatever it is, I love academia. I'd still love to be a professor someday and just teach and research. Plus, I love being Devil's advocate; nothing like getting a closed mind to open up a bit. BUT then again, the right is so fucking simple minded, anything beyond "BUSH=GOOD; LIBERAL=BAD" might overload 'em.

7. Jackass: I'm telling you, there is still nothing funnier than a guy getting hit in the balls. 'Nuff said!

8. Ball caps: Anyone who knows me personally knows I love ball caps. Right now I have about 20 that go in and out of circulation, much like a woman and her shoes. I have 4 Arizona State caps, a Cincinnati Reds cap, an Arizona Diamondbacks cap, 2 Univ. of Cincinnati caps, a Pittsburgh Steelers cap, a Dayton Dragons cap, an Irish tweed flat cap, plus a few others that I don't wear that often. To the right is my newest acquisition, my new Tampa Bay Lightning cap. Pretty slick, eh? I'm waiting for Trix to send me a Toronto Maple Leafs ball cap.
9. My family: I can't put a pic of my family up for the whole anonymity thing, although I am seriously considering posting a pic of my ugly mug. However, once I do that, no one will read my blog for fear of getting sick by checking out my unsightly appearance! But my family is amazing. If you read some of my old posts, you'll know that I am totally a mama's boy in the sense that I think my mother is the most amazing woman. Im' spoiled rotten in the sense that I have a great mother, sisters, and brother. My old man .... not so much (in fact, we probably haven't spoken in over a year now; he doesn't call me, I don't call him. We're not even mad at one another either; we just don't speak). But also, I've got great cousins and great aunts/uncles. What more could you ask for in life?

Monday, January 09, 2006

The Devil Alphabetically ....

I stole this from Brooke. It's a great idea and I was completely out of anything original to write. Hopefully some people who read my blathering will do this on their blogs!

[A is for age:]
35. Yikes; this is a touchy subject. 35 and still not married? YIKES!!

[B is for booze of choice]
So many to chose from: Newcastle, Maker's Mark, Wild Turkey, Leinenkugel Berry Weiss, Stoli Vanilla vodka, Old Charter Proprietor's Reserve (smoothest whiskey/bourbon I've ever had; smooth as silk), Corona

[C is for career]
Wow, this getting even worse as I go along; right now, still looking. But otherwise some type of legal whore.

[D is for your dog's name:]
Well, no dog since I'm living this sort of Bohemian lifestyle. My last dog was given to me but he had the coolest name ever for a Rat Terrier, Rooster. I'd like to get another dog and name him either Toots (as in Toots and the Maytals) or Marley (no explanation needed for that one).

[E is for essential items you use everyday:]
Electric toothbrush, my cell phone, Diet Coke w/Lime, Neutrogena facial bar, MP3 player, ball caps (I've got about 20 I rotate) .....

[F is for favorite song(s) at the moment:]
"Lay Down" - O.A.R.
"Guajira" - Yerba Buena
"One Way Ticket" - The Darkness

[G is for favorite games:]
To quote Vince Vaughn from The Wedding Crashers, everyone's favorite dating game "Just the tip"

[H is for hometown:]
Dalhart, Texas: Home of the XIT Rodeo and Reunion (World's Largest Free BBQ)

[I is for instruments you play:]
I'm trying to learn the guitar (Both acoustic and electric)

[J is for jam or jelly you like:]
Strawberry or orange marmalade

[K is for kids?]
None yet; hopefully a couple of dorky kids with a predilection for offbeat music, foreign movies, and art would be great

[L is for last kiss?:]
Uh ... no such thing since I may be getting older; but I guess for now it would have to ML

[M is for most admired trait:]
Easy going attitude; I just go with things and take them as they come

[N is for name of your crush:]
Andrea Corr ... or Kate Winslet ... or Penelope Cruz ... or Salma Hayek ... or Barbara Mori ... or Monica Bellucci

[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
None so far (knocking on wood as I say this ... no, not that wood)

[P is for phobias:]
Conservative right-wing Christian phobia (I'm pretty much waiting for the Republican Party to start burning a cross in my front yard and begin deportation proceedings for anyone who doesn't agree with them)

[Q is for quotes you like:]
"Success is never final" - Winston Churchill
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Nobody ever drowned himself in his own sweat" - old cowboy quote
"You can just about always stand more 'n you think you can" - old cowboy quote

[R is for biggest regret:]
Not pursuing my PhD when I realized I probably would've been much happier to do so

[S is for sweets of your choice:]
Coca-Cola in any form

[T is for time you wake up:]
Right now, about 7 AM; up until a couple of months ago, 6 AM

[U is for underwear:]
Boxers .... no tidy whities here

[V is for vegetables you love:]
Carrots and water chestnuts (is it a veggie? what doesn't taste better with a water chestnut?)

[W is for worst habit:]

[X is for x-rays you've had:]
A couple of my ankle when I was in the Army and at the dentist's office

[Y is for yummy food you make:]
Green Chile, Cheese and Chicken enchiladas .... very yummy!!

[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Gemini; I have a somewhat intellectual side but also an artistic side as well ... sometimes!

Now, anyone who wants to answer these as well, please do! I'd love to learn more about ya!

My New Love ....

Yeah, it's true. I've finally met that someone that can replace ML or anyone for that matter. She's a sleek, little number and certainly won't break the bank. If I like her, I'll definitely upgrade her. The Devil has finally moved into the 21st century and I'm glad I did. Sure, this little baby wasn't a whole lot of money and doesn't have 600 features that I'll never use. But since I'm still job hunting, I really couldn't justify spending $300 on a player ...... just yet. I will definitely upgrade to a better name brand and more memory. I just wanted something that I could take to the gym with me as I attempt to turn this body that is eerily reminiscent of this guy into something respectable.

Speaking of which, ML was telling me that I had what she called a "Bejamin Bratt moment", in other words, I looked hot even if for a moment. Hey, she's even noted that she's seen some other women looking at me .... granted, I probably said something witty like "I don't understand how people in the South consider monster truck racing a sport" in the middle of a flea market.

In other news, Andrea Corr has not acknowledged my undying love and affection. Granted, I've never let this perfect woman know of my affection but damnit, do I have to do all the work to make this relationship work??? I'd definitely have to have more "Benjamin Bratt moments" in order to get her attention. Maybe she was at Target when I had that moment .... a guy can dream.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

They Really Want Me .. Now If They'll Only Pay Me

So, I had one interview at a law firm today and another with a legal recruiting firm. The recruiting firm was great. They actually specialized in recruiting legal professionals, so it was nice to talk with someone who knew all about what I had done, my school, and my old job at the corporate hell hole. The recruiting agent even had a law firm in mind that specialized in Intellectual Property that was going to need help ..... and quick. This is a new firm being started by some hotshots from some of the bigger law firms who got together. So that is looking really well.

However, the first interview went really well. This was a huge bankruptcy law firm. Now, the pay sucks ... I mean really sucks. Only $25,000.00 a year plus some overtime. Yeah ... really shitty pay. However ....

This firm wanted me for a special project. Apparently, this law firm does about 6000 bankruptcies a year; definitely high volume. Now, once a bankruptcy petition is put together, one of the partners in the firm must sign off on it. They go over the petition with a fine tooth comb to ensure all the forms are there, signed, and correct. Apparently their attorneys are swamped as it is and the partners are very hands on. This takes an assload of time and partners beings partners can be bothered or as the office manager says "Their time is valuable."

In addition, this firm seemed to be gauging my interest in taking the Georgia bar, which to be honest I really didn't have any interest in taking. However, this firm really seemed to want me to take the bar and maybe join on. I made the comment that if I did work there and a position opened up, I would definitely be interested in it. The office manager seemed to like this and she really was interested in the fact that I knew quite a bit about bankruptcy law.

So I am now in a quandry. I will call back the law firm and get some more info about their benefits package. I believe they thought that since the pay was so low, I wouldn't be interested. But this might be a great chance to get in with a huge law firm where the money will be really kick ass once I pass the bar ... oh what to do????

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Job Hunt Is On

I've got to find a job and soon. This is the longest I've ever went without full-time work when I haven't been in school. Right now, I feel like a bum and not the kind in the picture. But it is a bum nonetheless.

I've gotten this restless feeling lately. I know it will come to an end soon. Apart from working for KR's company a few nights a week, I have no routine. I think a routine can be important when trying to get settled into a new place.

Of course, routine can get old. But right now, I'm dying to have a routine other than getting up at 9, sending out resumes, follow up phone calls, or driving to see ML.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Chuck E Cheese Sterilized Me

Today was my first visit ever to a Chuck E. Cheese. Yes, it's true. I've never visited the rat kingdom until today. Sure, I'm a fan of skeeball, video games, and pizza. However, no amount of love for these things prepared me for the evil I was to witness today.

Apparently, this place is designed so that parents can take their children to an enclosed gaming area and then turn them loose upon other unsuspecting adults. Unbridled evil offspring of defeated parents roam the video games like the Huns, pillaging and destroying all in sight. They run without the realization that their small fists are directly at crotch level. They crowd walkways with impunity. They surrond the Coke machine all the while lifting their wee sized cups in some sort of Satanic ritual.

What killed me the most though were the parents. Everyone is so convinced their child is the most special in the world that they become the rudest fucks on the face of the earth. I saw parents all but elbow these wee urchins in the face at the counter where you redeem your tickets for cheap plastic prizes.

I have to wonder what affect this will have on our society later. Every child is being told he/she is the most special and yes, every child is special. However, being unique and special doesn't make you better than everyone else. Mom and dad's behavior is only going to add fuel to this fire. For instance, teachers can't discipline children anymore. Why? Because every parent will tell the teacher that "my child would never do that ... you must be mistaken". Like you, when I was in school, if I got into trouble, I got it at school ... and then I got it worse at home. My folks had pretty much given the school permission to spank me, whip me, rabbit punch me, or even put me in the iron maiden if I were to act up.

The funny thing was that despite the fact that the kids were running loose and the parents were complete jackfucks, I still think I'd like to be a father. Yeah, I know ... the Devil is a big softie. You'd think I was the one with the biological clock ticking. But it is true, I still think kids are great. I think I'd be a great father and my kids would definitely be the "Yes sir / No sir" kids when they meet other adults.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

The New Year ... Resolutions or Not?

Happy New Year one and all, true believers (trying to do my best Stan Lee impression there). So the first thing in your mind is why in the hell does the Devil have a picture of Lou Holtz in his first post of the New Year? Didn't the Devil go to Arizona State and the University of Cincinnati and not Notre Dame?

OK, those who know me pretty well know that the only law school I wanted to get into was Notre Dame (and it was the only law school that rejected me). But, Lou's pic is up for another reason: New Years Resolutions.

See, when I was going through the whole grad school application process, it was super stressful. There I was with my best friend at the time, DR, studying for the LSAT, targeting which schools to apply to, worrying about grades in undergrad, so on and so forth. Now, I was lucky enough to work for Kaplan at the time, so I got a free LSAT course. One of the students there was a great lady named Debra.

Debra had been studying for the LSAT for about a year along with my center director and friend, Rosanna. Debra had been physically abused by an ex-husband and had some learning difficulties. However, Debra NEVER let this get her down; she just kept plugging away and was always the most positive person. Plus, she was a huge Notre Dame fan.

Debra was a partner in a medical facililty with about 10 or so doctors. Let's just say she was doing well financially. As a result, she went to convention where Lou Holtz was the speaker. She brought back a tape being sold at the convention and she brought it into the center one day for me to watch. It was amazing. If you get the chance to see Lou Holtz speak, DO IT!! I walked into work that morning a little down and came out charged up for the challenge ahead.

The thing that stuck in my mind was what he said about adversity. He said you should welcome adversity as an opportunity to change something that will make you better afterwards. I think that is my resolution this year: welcome adversity.

It's similar to that saying that "pain is just weakness leaving the body". I know that I have some shit in my personal life I need to straighten out and when I do, I'll be in such a better position. I will be free of so many of the things that drag my ass down right now. So in a nutshell, that is my simple resolution ... oh yeah, that and to get my ass into the gym.

Anyone got any resolutions out there besides me?