Sunday, January 07, 2007

I'm The Trix Magoo Of Love

Steve Miller's "The Joker" was the gangster of love, a smooth guy who was suave and a playboy. Now most people typically weave in and out of relationships. They pick up on the signals. They flirt at the right time with the right people. Next thing you know, they're dating someone seriously for months on end. Imagine that your love life is like a movie. Compared to my love life, 99% of the dating population is like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie effortlessly gliding through the flotsam and jetsam.

In the movie of my life, the actor who would play me would either be Mr. Magoo or the Trix rabbit. You see, my love life is a series of bumbling misadventures that leave me in some incredible quagmire flailing like an idiot. Unlike Mr. Magoo or the Trix rabbit, I don't end up with the bowl of cereal or with the girl at the end. So let me illustrate this with a story involving a character that represents your truly: The Trix Magoo, a combination of the blindest man and a sad sack character who can't win no matter what.

My most recent series of misadventures starts with Trix Magoo meeting some great people at an event. One very cute lady emails our hero out of the blue to ask if he going to another event in the near future. Over time, she tells him things like how a guy could get to her, how she hopes that she might meet someone who really likes her kids, etc. All the things that our hero Trix Magoo is all about.

However, true to form, Trix Magoo misreads the intentions of the Vixen. The Vixen explains that she isn't looking for a relationship and that she actually digs another fellow. Just like Mr. Magoo falling off the edge of a building or the Trix rabbit having that bowl of processed sugar snagged from his grasp as he is about to get that first taste, he is cast into the friend zone (cue the wah wah waaaahhhh sound indicating another misstep).

At this point in the movie, you can cue the bloopers reel as the credits pass by showing Trix Magoo misreading what he thinks are flirtations and ending up with egg on his face. I think Trix Magoo could use some classes on reading women because he is truly hopefully.

Silly Trix Magoo, cute girls are for everyone else!!


Chelle said...

I believe most people bumble and fumble their way through relationships. I know you are not alone. Sucks.

Cincysundevil said...

Seriously, watching my love life is like watching a cat with tape on his paws; it's sorta cruel, but you can't keep from laughing.

A. Estella Sassypants said...

Let's see...when am I gonna be near Atlanta again? ;)

Like Chelle said, you're not alone. I'm an idiot and completely talentless when it comes to love.

Cincysundevil said...

Any time you're near Atlanta will be fine!