Saturday, March 12, 2005

Snowy Saturdays In Ohio

What is it about snowy Saturdays that makes people panic here? It's as if because they're not working, they feel the need to run around like idiots to the grocery store or whereever in case the flurries develop into a blizzard. Now, I'm not one to say that weather men are the most accurate guys in the world, but they do have a pretty good idea if we're gonna socked in with 5 or 6 inches. But every suburbanite with a mini-van decides its time to roam the streets of town, slowing down traffic which would otherwise move quickly, and just annoying the shit out of anyone who might actually be driving somewhere to do something productive.

While I do hope to be married someday, I won't end up like that because of my master plan. I've given very explicit instructions to friends and loved ones that if I ever purchase a mini-van, they are to club me in the head with a break 'til death!! That way I don't become that annoying guy in the mall parking lot driving up and down every row in the parking lot looking for that spot 10 feet closer to the entrance! Or I don't become that annoying guy driving the mini-van 10 miles under the speed limit in the passing lane on every main road in town! Or that annoying guy who parks his mini-van near in the "No Parking" zone at the grocery store while I wait for my wife because we can't be bothered to park in the lot with the other 99% of courteous society!

Do you think I hate mini-van drivers? .... LOL ... heh-heh


cammie said...

snow is a four letter word...the first hint of it out of the weather man's mouth and you have every living person in mem,tn headed to the grocery...mind you we haven't had more than an inch of snow in the past ten years...but that doesn't stop the insanity, if only we could invent a new term for snow...instead of snow we could call it froain (ya know, like frozen rain) and say its froaining out...maybe that would keep hysteria to a minimum.

JHD said...

You mean as opposed to being the annoying man without the mini-van, right? ;)

I kid because I can.