Friday, March 25, 2005

The Five

As crazy as it sounds, at one time I was engaged. This was years ago when I was in the Army. A multitude of things combined to ensure that I didn't get married, however, that is not the point I'm making with this post. No my friends, the Five is a different concept altogether. Here is how I can best explain the Five. My ex and I each had 5 celebs selected. In the off chance that we ever encountered one of the Five celebs and in the remote possibility the celeb wanted to have their way with us, the other partner couldn't say anything. So my ex had 5 celebs that if she met them and they wanted to hook up, she had my full consent to have at it. We did have some ground rules such as the celeb had to truly be a celeb, not the guy playing Triple A baseball down the street or that stripper from the commercial for the nearby "gentlemen's club". Nope, the Five had to be true celebs.

Now my ex had her 5 of which I only remember a few. In fact, one of her Five is actually dead now. I do remember she had Bono, the lead singer of the band "A School Of Fish", and River Phoenix (the dead guy). I can't even remember my Five from back in the day, but I know Tanya Donnelly and Tori Amos were on my list. But I think I need to update my list, so here goes my Five in no particular order:

1. Penelope Cruz: I first saw Penelope in a film called Twice Upon A Yesterday, which is also one of my all-time faves. The theater I saw the movie in was near campus in Tempe and had only 2 other people in there besides myself. But from the moment she came on screen, I've always considered her one of the most amazing women in the world. I loved her in The Hi-Lo Country (filmed around the area where my family ranch is located) and Woman On Top. Tom was a lucky guy.
2. Monica Belluci: When I saw her in The Matrix Reloaded I thought that she was absolutely amazing for only having been in the film for maybe 5 minutes. Then I found out she was also in Tears Of The Sun in which I thought she was also stunning. However, when I watched Malena, I absolutely fell in love with her. Not only is she stunning, but she is an amazing actress as well. Maybe I need to move to Italy instead of the UK, hhhmmmm........
3. Scarlett Johansson: I always though Thora Birch was kinda cute and when I heard about Ghost World, I thought it sounded like my kinda movie. I was caught completely by surprise by the raspy voiced best friend in the movie. I found myself watching her and next thing I know, I want to know about her. Enter Lost In Translation. She is amazing, gorgeous, intelligent, and sexy as hell. It's sounds sorta pervy, but I can't get the image of her sitting around in her underwear out of my head; she made lounging around with nothing to do the sexiest thing in the world.
4. Andrea Corr: OK, so The Corrs are a guilty pleasure of mine. Here I am, the guy who is listening to Blink 182, Toots and the Maytals, Jack Johnson, Muddy Waters, John Lee Hooker, Dave Matthews .... and the Corrs. I can't get over the harmonies and especially her voice. From all accounts, she is also supposed to be one of the nicest people and very down to earth. Of course, I don't get those great gossipy mags overseas dealing with drunken celebs like Charlotte Church (Alan has the best post about this)!! I'll go on the assumption that is as nice as she seems. She is definitely the nice girl you take home to mom, but she is still sexy as all hell.
5. Kate Winslet: She is the quintessential lady. Definitely classy and she has the sexiest accent. I started digging her when I saw Titanic and no, it wasn't because she did a nude scene (although it was awesome). She just has that indefinable something that is just attractive, intelligent, sexy, classy, and real all at once. She always takes roles that are a little off the beaten path and I dig that, especially The Life of David Gale and Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. If Kate ever decides to get divorced, I would totally propose to her unannounced (the worst she could say is "no" or yell out "Security!!").

Now some of the girls I've dated in the past have either loved the idea or thought it was rude. I think it's hilarious because the odds of me ever meeting any of these folks is about 1 in about 10 million. The odds of getting lucky with any of the Five is astronomical. So it's nothing more than a fun diversion for me.

Now there are those celebs who didn't make the list but made it into the Final Jeopardy round. Such celebs include Kirsten Dunst, Neko Case, Erika Christensen, Elisha Cuthbert, Gabrielle Anwar, Rhona Mitra, Jacqueline Obradors, Ana Claudia Talancon, Paulina Rubio, or Paz Vega. Now that I've put up my list, hopefully you'll give me yours as well.


trix said...

five? i'm going to have to meditate for awhile. will let you know what five i come up with.

NML said...

Hilarious! I remember my ex fiance got upset with me for going on about a male celeb (I forget which one) too many times. It seemed so silly because the possibility is so remote!

Alan said...

Hmmm, you are obviously psychic and stealing my future posts. I was planning a similar post, only I always refer to this game as "the laminated list", after the episode of Friends in which Ross and Rachel do the same thing, and Ross has his list laminated. Actually this would make a good meme. My five (long established)will be published on my blog in the next few days (but of course I will link back here!)

Earth Girl said...

Am I the only one having second thoughts about your character after reading about all these young girls you're lusting after? *g*
Actualy I'll be doing some theoretical cradle snatching of my own with Jessy for Desperate housewives. . .

Cincysundevil said...

I look forward to your list.
You totally have to see if you can remember who the celeb was!
I look forward to the laminated list
Oh come on! You don't have a list of celebs? ... lol ... and most of the Five are close my age, not some 18 y.o. lip synching singers ... lol