Sunday, May 01, 2005

Sometimes It's Not Good To Be Where You're From

As if growing up in the middle of the Bible belt wasn't bad enough, it's gotten worse. You see, my town couldn't get into the paper for feeding the poor, quality of life, or solving world issues. Nope, my town got into every national paper because of knee jerk reactions. Apparently there people are so convinced of terrorists in our midst that now bomb threats are appearing everywhere. Now mind you, we should all be aware of our surrondings and we should truly be wary. However, I really don't think Al Qaeda has a sleeper cell in Clovis. I don't think cattle feedlots are going to be the target of a suicide attack unless led by some vegan group. Blowing up a few hundred cattle will really do nothing except make a mess and maybe contribute to the overall air quality. When the wind shifts in that town, you hear people proclaim "That's the smell of money." Well no, you tool, it's the smell of shit ... cowshit to be more precise. Maybe they should blow up the feedlot then ......

One of my friends suggested that it might be the burrito resembled a rifle. This is plausible. The town is the NRA's wet-dream: conservative, dull, paranoid, full of itself, stratified to the Nth degree, and plenty of guns to "keep the peace". Apparently the peace didn't keep too well in my little ignoramus town. The sad thing is a parent was interviewed after the incident and her comment was along the lines that the school needed security to monitor the kids coming in and out. I think I'm gonna pray now .. "Dear unnamed entity that oversees all, please enlighten me as to why newspapers must interview the most extreme idiot in every instance instead of a level-headed individual?" Sadly, I think I know the answer is that level headed folks dont' sell papers. I'm even more embarrassed to think this is the town I grew up in and this is why it makes the national papers. Why can't the old contigency of parents who were convinced that AC/DC stood for "Against Christ/Devil's Children" or that thought KISS stood for "Knights In Satan's Service" come out? It's not good to have grown up in Clovis, NM ......

3 comments:

Alan said...

Hey, it's just lucky he didn't eat the burrito. Otherwise he might have ended up dead after police heard a sound that resembled gunfire emerging from the area around his bottom.

Earth Girl said...

you couldn't make it up !!!!

polarcirclechica said...

Welcome to my near-future world, my dear!