Sunday, May 29, 2005

My Dating Questionaire

Well Modigli and August Lioness asked for it ... so I'm attempting to put together a questionaire for us men. Hopefully Ruben, Evil, and Yourname will contribute some additional questions as well.

1. Will she sympathize with me when (insert team name here) lose while my buddies taunt me? Does she truly understand the importance of sports?

2. Will she keep wearing sexy underwear after 6 months of dating?

3. Does she really cook or is her idea of a homecooked meal the same as yours? (i.e. Hamburger Helper or one of those frozen skillet meals you simply warm up; and yes, I can actually cook ... I make superb green chile, cheese, chicken enchiladas; great lasagne; I'm a whiz on the grill as well)

4. Is she going to flip out at the drop of a hat and not tell you why she is mad because "you know what you did"? (which equates to alot of little things that I did that I didn't realize would bug her and have now boiled over into one big blow up)

5. Is she going to get pissed off when you say something that you think is completely innocuous such as "Is that a diet Coke?" or "Hey,is everything ok?"? (the infamous ML actually got pissed when when I asked her the 2nd question when she had called me like 4 times in one day while I was at work; I was seriously concerned and yes, she got ticked off)

6. Is she a cultured lady who will not be sighing the entire time in a museum or at an art gallery? Or is she a hood rat (chav for my UK readers) who doesn't like "that Shakespeare guy 'cuz he don't speak english" or makes comments at galleries like "I could paint that" or at a nice restaurant snipes "You all got nachos up in here?"?

7. Can she drink wine on one night and then down wings and beer the next?

8. Does she understand that as men we are much better with actions than with words?

9. Does she truly understand that sometimes the guys just need to go out with the guys so that they can be guys? Will she realize that sometimes we need to laugh at some vulgar humor?

10. Will she think I'm ridiculous because I still feel the need to go the Warped Tour or punk shows at my age? Would she maybe even accompany me? Will she listen to my somewhat poor renditions of songs as I attempt to play to my guitar?

Just a few of the questions I might ask once I didn't get shot down after approaching a woman and actually started dating. Of course you could list references on a seperate sheet and submit a statement of intent. This would be a decent resume for my dating approach. Anyone got any other questions or answer these?


yournamehere said...

Here are a few. If I think of any more I'll add them later.

Will she recite a laundry list of your faults but then burst into tears when you tell her she's shattering your self-esteem?

Will she compare you to past boyfriends and/or the boyfriends of others?

Will she turn every little disagreement into a major production?

Does she dismiss The Simpsons and Family Guy as "stupid cartoons"?

Does she have a good relationship with her father?

Cincysundevil said...

Damn .. those are great questions to ask. Especially the Simpsons/Family Guy thing!

NML said...

I am working on a questionnaire for men so I love this post! I cracked up laughing at your use of the word 'chav'. I am so proud of you! #4 & 5 are really good!

MoDigli said...

THese are quite good. I like them a lot. Actually, reading them make me think that everyone really does want the same thing. Guys complain about the same things in women. Women complain about the same things in guys. Kinda funny.

Why can't we all just get along, people?! haha...

anyway, just for the record: I LOVE THE SIMPSONS!