Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Wrong House Dude

All of Earth Girl's drinking stories about her friends got me thinking about some of my exploits back in my good ole' frat brat days at Sigma Phi Epsilon. This one involved 3 of my fraternity brothers: B-Dub, Sloppy, and Lance.

A little background would be good here. B-Dub is a huge black guy who has the most serious "I'm gonna kick your ass look" on his face if you don't know him. At the same time, he is one of the most mellow guys in all of the world as well as being one of the funniest fuckers I've ever had the privilege of calling my brother. Sloppy is a spoiled rich kid from Dallas whose father is on some board of directors for Dr. Pepper He got his nickname because that is the type of drunk he is: sloppy complete with slurred speech. Lance is a guy from Kansas who wore a cowboy hat all the time, even with shorts and sandals.

Now, every year in the southwest, Nike sponsors a flag football tourney. At each major university, the team that wins intramural flag football gets to go to Tempe and compete in a tourney on the campus of Arizona State University ("ASU"; where I later transferred to). Every year for about 4 years straight, Sigma Phi Epsilon ("Sig Ep") won the cup and this particular year was no exception. So they get the honor of getting drunk in Tempe, playing a few games of flag football, and crashing at the ASU chapter of Sig Ep in the game room.

So after losing the first 2 games, the guys are out of the tourney and decide to head out. They hit the bars on Mill Ave. (the bar district next to campus) and proceed to get plowed. All the guys except B-Dub, Lance, and Sloppy head back. They hit Hooters 'til close, drinking, flirting, and eating. On the way back to the house, they decide it's time to smoke a little, toast the season they've had in flag football, and do some male bonding. They head up to the roof of the house. After about an hour, Lance decides to turn in and Sloppy tells B-Dub that he has some beer left so he'll grab it and be right back up.

So B-Dub is baked and sitting on the roof for about an hour. Then he realizes that Sloppy probably fell asleep. He gets down from the roof and goes to the front room. He sits on the couch and grabs the remote and starts to watch a bit of T.V. when a couple of guys enter the room.

Guy1: Can I help you??
B-Dub: Naw man; I'm cool ... just watching some T.V..
Guy 2: What the fuck do you think you're doing?
B-Dub: I'm just watching some T.V., man.
Guy 2: Who in the fuck are you?
B-Dub: I'm one of the guys from New Mexico.
Guy 1: We don't have a fucking chapter in New Mexico.
Guy 2: You're in the wrong fucking house, guy.
B-Dub: Man, this is so fucked up. This is because I'm black, isn't it? We're all fucking brothers and I can't believe you're gonna pull this shit on me. That's fucked up. We're all part of the Golden Heart; we're all Sig Eps ....
Guy 2: You're in the wrong fucking house, dude. The Sig Ep house is next door.

Official Rush Photo

Needless to say that "Wrong house dude" became an unofficial calling card for B-Dub. To this day whenever I visit Albuquerque, we meet up to have a few too many beers and I'll always ask him to tell that story because it never gets old.

1 comment:

NML said...

I am frightened just by looking at that picture!