So my friend SS calls tonight. She lives in another midwestern town, one that I happen to think is actually pretty damn cool in its own sort of crazy way. She's asking me to go visit because she's getting ready to end another relationship and wants someone to keep her company when she is going through her nosedive. You see, SS is a relationship addict. Some of us are addicted to porn, some to sex, some to diet Coke. SS is addicted to being in a relationship. She cannot stand to be without a b/f .... ever. She will date constantly going on a date or two a week with different guys. Now the current guy, we'll call Steve. Steve is not her b/f despite her justifications about his behavior. What I'm going to outline are some surefire signs this guy isn't her b/f:
1. Steve only sees her when it's convenient for him. He always makes it a point to let her know that he's going out with his friends during the week, almost as if bragging. And while he does go out with her, it's on Saturday night through Sunday morning. Sounds nice that he has a plan and sticks to it, but he can't be bothered to visit her during the week.
2. Second, this guy hasn't introduced her to his friends. I don't care about any other justification, this is one of the big ones. Why wouldn't he introduce her to his friends? Well, because he's always going out with "Jennifer" or "Heather" or some other female that is "an old friend" from the past. And why not introduce her to his guy friends? Becase as men, we're fucking idiots and probably one drunken night, his guy friends might say something without thinking ... something like "So, are you still tapping that one chick?"
3. This guy has on several occassions referred to her as a "friend". Nothing wrong with your g/f or b/f being your best friend, but let's face it ... that is the ideal. Most of us know that in order to maintain a healthy relationship, it's necessary to nurture those friendships outside of our significant others. Also, I have never dated a girl I liked alot and made it a point on several occassions to note that she is a "friend". If a guy likes you, he'll let you know it and he'll be careful with his words about the "friend" thing.
4. During the week, Steve can't be bothered to give her a call. He's always too busy or he's going out with those old friends. SS actually considers him her b/f and just ends up getting hurt when he doesn't return her calls on weeknights; in fact, he's gotten downright angry with her calling during the week. I've teased her saying, "Well, did you tell him that you needed to get laid?" and she'll tell me, "Yeah, but he still didn't return my calls." I don't know that I've ever seen a guy turn down sex as much as Steve has.
5. He's told her several times that he is moving, but he doesn't know when. To where and when, he's not sure. SS is always stressed because he goes on these trips out of town to "look for other jobs" and the like. She's always afraid this is the time he decides to move for good.
Then there is the sex issue. SS and Steve are having sex on a regular basis, i.e. on their weekend "dates". Again, the problem is, he can't be bothered to see her during the week. On Sunday evenings, SS will call and tell me how great a time they had, but then by Tuesday, she's miserable because she hasn't heard from Steve. She will moan that she feels cheap and that Steve is using her for sex. But then by Thursday night, she's raving about getting to see him on Saturday. So, I'll probably take a weekend flight sometime soon to visit SS, let her drown her sorrows as I play designated driver. But hey, that is what friends are for!
On a happier note, apperently my taste in music is decent!!
Also, I'm quite the 80's geek ...