Freaky Neighbors, The Devil, and Spongebob

First of all, let me say this. As I'm writing this, my building is shaking? Why would a building be shaking in stable ole' Ohio? Because my downstairs neighbor is a freak. No, I mean really; he is. He's a nice enough fellow, but damn, he's fucking weird. For instance, half the time, if he comes out of his apartment, he sprints; not just to his car, but up the street. I was cruising one day by the nearby library and he's leaving the library .... sprinting; he was sprinting back towards our apartments. Plus, he lives on the first floor and has his sliding glass doors facing the sidewalk. He never closes them .... ever. Now he doesn't walk around naked, but one of these nights when I get home from work, he's going to be doing something weird and I'll inevitably notice. Oh yeah, and why is my building shaking? Because he can't figure out how to close a door without slamming it. EVERYTIME he leaves, he slams the door so hard, it rattles the building. Piss poor construction of the building? Yeah, I know, but I don't want to be shaken everytime he needs to "run" to the library.

Anyways, per my normal pathetic weekend, I rented a couple of movies so that in case nothing exciting came up (which it never does), I'd have something to watch besides whatever infomercials the networks decide to thrust upon us. I had the Exorcist: The Beginning and The Spongebob Squarepants Movie. Suffice to say one absolutely rocked and the other was as dull as George Bush's wit.

Any guess as to which one was dull? Yeah, the Exorcist was boring. Very boring. It had a few tense moments, but nothing worthwhile. The idea was okay; but like so many movies, there were some opportunities to take it up a notch. But like so many movies, it failed to grasp these chances and instead stuck to regular ole schtick. My brother had seen it a while back and said there were some pretty creepy moments. I guess we see things differently; I saw nothing creepy except for the fact that there will be some people who will actually buy the video and rewatch it.

Now Spongebob is an entirely different creature. This movie was hilarious. It's no secret that more adults seem to like Spongebob than kids, and this movie only bolstered the case. There are some small side comments that had me laughing outloud. The story was pretty standard, but hey, it is still a kid movie. I can't wait to watch this with my nephews; it gives me an excuse to watch it again and again.

Was There Ever Any Doubt??

Of course there wasn't ... if you've read my past posts, you know where I'm coming from ...

Thanks to the always sexy Trixie for linking me out to Liquid Generation for some fun quizes. However, I am somewhat of a pimp ..



Apparently I'm a little slutty too ......



So take the quizzes and let a slut know what ya got .....

Viva Che!!!

I watched "The Motorcycle Diaries" again tonight. I say again because I saw it in a local independent theater a few months ago. Now, I read the book before I saw the movie. In fact, I bought it at Barnes and Noble, which may turn out to be a mistake because I bought it with a credit card, so my information is sitting in some "Patriot Act" database. God protect me from the plague that is Bill O'Reilly and Anne Coulter.

What I found interesting about the movie is that I liked it more the 2nd time around. Having read the book beforehand, the movie made lent itself to situations where Che didn't go into much detail. He was somewhat descriptive, but the movie actually let you see the places he went, the peoples he met, and the land. It was much better this time around and I will buy the DVD.

I read somewhere that the movie has inspired a whole new generation of Latin Americans to explore their continent. I really hope so. I think that the more people who get out from the cities and get to see the conditions that the indigineous people live in, the more likely it is that these people will begin to seek social justice for all in South America. They'll start the process to reclaim land being used by multinational corporations in the name of "progress" and return it to the people that can make the best use of it. I know some people will claim that returning these lands to the people will almost automatically ensure that the countries will plunge into poverty. However, except for the few institutions in these nations that capitalize from the disenfranchisement of entire segments of a population, most of the indigineous people in these nations live in substandard conditions. At least having some land will ensure they can grow their own food, or better yet, form cooperatives to assist one another.
It's funny, but as I get older, I get much more politicized and more radical in my beliefs. I thought I would mellow out as I got older, but I seem to do just the opposite. Maybe there's a bit of Che in me yet .............

Che

Close Call

Whew!!!
I thought I was going to be in trouble today. I go out to my Jeep this morning a half hour before work. Something looks wrong. I can't quite place my finger on it, but something is way wrong. I walk around my Jeep and ... SHIT! I've got a flat. So I call work and tell them I will have to fix the tire since I think my spare is pretty shot as well. So now, I've got to burn a vacation day to get this settled.

I get out the jack and the tire iron and start to try to remove the lug nuts. I say try because they were stuck. Well, I'll just throw some WD-40 along the base and this might loosen 'em a bit. No. I pull and tweak and nothing is going on. I keep thinking to myself: I know I'm not this weak. I start calling some tow truck companies and I'm red in the face. Imagine having to call a tow truck because you can't get the lug nuts off of your tire. For some people, this might not be embarrassing, but if you knew my dad (a.k.a. the Hispanic Hank Hill who never goes to a mechanic and always, always made sure we have tools in our cars, a full spare, and taught us all basic car care) .. well, if you knew my old man, you'd be embarrassed. I call several towing companies and each of them is about $60 on such short notice and I don't have AAA (If my family is reading: potential bday gift!!). So I'm debating what to do and decide to give the lug nuts one last shot. This time I have the tire iron; I'm pulling towards me and pushing down away on the opposite end with my foot .... and it works. Little by little, each nut comes loose this way. So in about 15 minutes, I have the tire off and the spare on, which is low itself but has some air.

Now, I had just called the Midas up the road about 2 hours earlier and the guy informs it'll be $15 per tire, which isn't too bad I estimate. I get to Midas which is about 1/2 mile away, when the mechanic informs me that he's just broken the tool he'd need to plug my tires about a half hour ago. So now my options are really going downhill. It's now 2:30 and if I dont' get somewhere soon, I won't have my car by the end of the day for something that should only take a 1/2 hour.

I take off and go to a Shell station about 15 minutes away. I pull in and the attendant takes a look at my tire. He says nothing at first and I feel that "Oh shit, I'm going to have to buy one new tire to last me a month or two when I get my new tires". He takes it out of the back of the Jeep; looks it over; and says, "This will only take about 20 minutes. You can wait inside if you want." Just like that. A half hour later, he has my tire fixed. He informs me that the spare I'm using only has 10 lbs of air (it should have 35), so he fixes the valve stem which is why it was low in the first place. Turns out, I somehow ran over a piece of plastic last night about an inch long and it perfectly lodged into the tread. My total bill: $12. It easily could've gone higher if I had called a tow truck. But it was only $12, a lot of panic, embarrassment, and a day of vacation; but I'm ready to go now.

The United States of Taliban Thinking and The Supreme Court

The Truth Is Rarely So Clear ... But It Is Clear Now

The Supreme Court has decided to take up the issue of displays of the 10 Commandments in Austin, Texas and at a courthouse in Kentucky. So once again, the 1st Amendment of the Constitution, the ultimate law of the land is under attack by religious zealots determined to force the whole nation to worship as they do, much like the Taliban did in Afghanistan. Wait a minute, isn't that one of the justifications we gave for invading a 3rd world country with a marginal military? In the same vein, these zealots want to make the government a branch of their particular sect. The 1st Amendment of the Constitution CLEARLY states that Congress shall make no law establishing an establishment of religion. Courts have interpreted this to mean no religious displays on government property with the thought being that it is a far better idea to not get involved the quagmire mixing government and religion will ultimately bring.

Now before, we get started; let me say that I am Catholic. I believe in God, the Holy Spirit, the whole to do. I disagree completely, however, once the church begins to intrude on the lives of those who choose not to affiliate with Christianity or the majority religion. I fimly believe in respecting other's choices so long as those choices dont' intrude on my life; after all, I have the choice not to watch what they watch; I can chose not to read what they read; I can chose not to listen to what they listen to. After all, America is really about choice. Choose what you want to do; choose to be who you want to be; choose what you become. However, some arrogant religious, self-appointed pricks believe that they know better than most of us and need to guide us to what works for them. This is against the fundamental principle of freedom of religion; after all, FREEDOM OF RELIGION DEPENDS ON FREEDOM FROM RELIGION.

Judge Roy Moore (the federal judge from Alabama who refused to order the removal of a 10 Commandments display from the federal courthouse and who was or is facing disciplinary action for his refusal) has written an amicus brief, or what is known as a friend of the court brief in support of keeping the displays up. His arguments are the proverbial slippery slope of establishing a national religion. In one argument he makes the point that we should read the Constitution as it was written at that time and apply that meaning; in other words, he would advance an originalist constitutional interpretation. This would mean that we read the Constitution literally and apply what was the understood meaning at that time. The problem with this argument is that the framers of the Constitution would have no concept at the time of its writing of the problems we have in this modern world. How can you apply the understanding of the Constitution at the time it was created to say traffic stop cases or stem cell research or class action suits against pharmaceutical companies? This is an overly simplistic view and they can be no credible way to stretch the original interpretation to meet many of the problems we face today. Next, Moore tries a slight of hand trick. He starts by saying that a monument is not a law. Good argument, but this begs the question: Well, don't you have to have some sort of governmental endorsement to erect a monument on government land? Here is the slight of hand: Moore argues that the endorsement needed in Texas was only a resolution and not a law: "The monument was erected by a simple 1961 resolution fueled by a desire to "'honor the youth of Texas who are members of the Boy Scouts.". Nice, but then he goes on to try to throw some grease the wheels for further religions intrusions by citing from another case: "Similar to an executive Thanksgiving proclamation, the Capitol monument "has not the force of law, nor was it so intended." Richardson v. Goddard, 64 U.S. (How.) 28, 43 (1859) ("The proclamation . . . is but a recommendation. . . .". So a state can openly "recommend" one religion over another; they can "recommend" funding for one sect over another; they can "recommend" religioius observances for an entire state; as long as it's only a proclamation or resolution. I think I can feel the slippery ground begin to angle downward beneath my feet as I read more of Moore's brief.

The other big argument being advanced in this whole fracas is that the monuments represent our historical foundations of the law and nothing more. This argument might have a modicum of merit if there weren't hundreds of ministers and other self-appointed "holy men" praying at the steps of the Supreme Court. If these monuments were truly displayed to pay tribute to our historical foundations of law, I wonder how these ministers and holy men might react if a monument of Hammurabi's Code were displayed; or the Magna Carta; or a monument with some of the French thinker Rosseau's writings; or a monument with a Roman emperor paying tribute to the original legislative body? Would these self-appointed "defenders of the faith" react with such zeal to defend these historical characters? I don't buy this argument anyways; it's a flat out lie. Saying that the monuments "only" represent our legal historical roots and nothing more is as believable as the guy who says he reads Playboy and Penthouse for the articles and nothing more. The proponents of both of these arguments are full of shit, but at least you can laugh at the guy with the Playboys. And he'd better enjoy the "articles" while he can because at this rate, the church run state government may "recommend" that any sort of secular entertainment be pulled so that instead we can all attend the church of that the state "recommends" in its "resolutions".

Here are some of those guys who are praying that the Supreme Court recognizes that the 10 Commandments monuments only represent our legal historical background. What really bothers me about this picture is that these self-appointed holy men came from all over the United States just to make a public spectacle of how "holy" they are. Just imagine what the money that they spent on traveling, lodging, and food could do to help a homeless family or the poor in their communities. Maybe these are those "compassionate conservatives" I keep hearing the Anti-Christ talk about in his speeches; you know, the ones that have trickle down economics at heart (i.e. Give even more money to the rich, they'll know how best to give it to the poor). Hypocrisy is an ugly thing.

Hopefully they're praying that the court will erect a monument of Buddha, Mohammed, the Star of David, and statues of Enlightment thinkers to truly celebrate our historical legal foundations. But I'll bet they're not .............

Some Good Advice For Us All

I grew up in New Mexico with cowboys, pickups, and cattle. My dad and his whole side pretty much resemble Hank Hill (only with a Hispanic sensibility). One of the things I always did like about growing up in the west though were the old men you'd run into at a barber shop or at the local bars. They'd always have some quick piece of advice for whatever situation you were in. A writer named Texas Bix Binder put together some of these pieces of advice into a great little book called "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On: A Cowboy's Guide To Life". Some of the advice I'd gotten from those old timers is in the book, along with some others:

• After eating an entire bull, a moutain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
• When you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. (This is something my dad always said as well)
• Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
• If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
• Don't worry about biting off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger than you think.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and alot of that comes from bad judgment.
• If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
• There's two approaches to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. (NML - This one is for you; I may not understand women still, but I know this much ... lol ... I hope you get to feelin' better soon!!!)
• When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
• When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be suprised if they learn the lesson.
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
  

And finally, probably the best piece of advice I think I've ever heard or been given:

• Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Another Reason Why I Miss New Mexico

New User Profile Pic ... you like?

He does sort of have that mischievous smile on his face ... heh-heh ... just like someone you know!!!!

Fork 'Em Devils!!!

Bush Performs "ably"???? How Low Are Our Expectations???

I am watching the McLauglin Group on PBS and the discussion was the Idiot's trip to Europe last week to mend fences with our one time allies. To wrap up the discussion, moderator John McLauglin asked everyone to rate the success of the trip between 1 and 10 with 1 being failure and 10 being complete success. Pat Buchanan said that the relationship between Europe and the U.S. was "a dead marriage" and gave the Idiot a 2. I found the comment interesting, but I disagree with it. So the scores were between 1 or 2 and a cople of 7's (one guest said that it was a symbolic gesture and that symbolism is important obviously reaching for anything that could be construed as positive).

But John McLaughlin underscored how low our expectations are of the Idiot in the White House. He gave the trip a 7 and said that Bush performed "ably". WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? ABLY? If Clinton had performed "ably", every fucking right wing idiot would've been calling for his head (not that the genius commentators like Rush "Oxycontin Addict" Limbaugh and Anne "I'll Just Make Shit Up" Coulter and FOX news weren't calling for his head every week). "Ably" is what you say about people you have no expectations of who actually pull off a job. "Ably" shows just how shitty we really think Bush is. "Ably" shows that we, as Americans, know how lacking Bush is (while the right wing just buries its head in the sand on this and touts his "Christian" background).

No wonder the world couldn't understand the November elections. They somehow got the wrong impression that we, as Americans, would elect the better man, the more intelligent man, the better leader. Oh no, that's not how politics in America works. We showed the world that 52% of Americans are sheep that can led down the primrose path to slaughter by simply scaring them with talk of the "war on terror" or that you simply have to wrap yourself up in the Bible (despite the fact that most of your actions are very unChristian). Even though there is a world of evidence that proves Bush lied about WMDs, the 52% who voted for Bush somehow disregarded that; some would say that "he did what he thought was best" (one of my friends actually said this). Gee, isn't that the nice thing you say to someone who does something without thinking and then comes to the realization that he fucked up really badly?????????

One Last Bit of Drama (God I Hope So)

I know, I know ... I can hear the groans from those of you who've read my blog in the past. You're just as tired of the ML thing as I am. I think this is the final chapter and I am hoping it is. However, she asked me to do something that is really tearing me up inside; it literally has me torn in half. One last explanation for this one.

So in one of my first posts about ML, I mentioned she has a son. He's a bit spoiled, but he is a good kid nonetheless. Before I went for a visit, ML had been priming this kid to meet me. She would tell him things like "mommy has a new boyfriend" and so on. So when I finally met him, he took to me right away. Everywhere I went he wanted to hold my hand. We'd go to the park and he'd want me to push him on the swings. He'd want to play catch with me. He told ML, "Mom, I like him." He even told ML at dinner later that if she wanted to marry me, that was okay with him. I thought it was hilarious and ML was shocked. ML's ex-husband has a great relationship with his son and he has hated everyone she has dated in the past.

So I get an email from ML on Wednesday saying that she and her son were watching TV recently. They were watching "The George Lopez Show" (one of my faves) and one of the characters was getting married. ML's son asked her when she and I were going to get married. He then started asking about me over and over; when was I going to visit again; when I was going to move in with them. So, she asks me if I will talk to her son as a favor to her. She said she realized that she wasn't sure what I should tell him, and that we'd need to talk beforehand. She did say if I couldn't, she'd understand.

I was really bothered by this. I have a huge soft spot for kids and ML knows this. Every Christmas at some point, my nephews give me a sob story that my sister "won't take us to McDonalds and we've been good all day" (when in reality, all day long they've been mischievious, hornery, or as my mom would say "travieso") knowing that a secret trip to McD's will soon take place. I think the world of my nephews and have their pictures in my cube at work, as well as a watercolor that my oldest nephew made in class.

I haven't written back or called ML about this. I can understand ML wanting to break it to her son, but isn't that more of the mother's place than my own? Am I an asshole for not wanting to get tangled up in this anymore and just being able to go on with my life?

Lawyers Suck ... I Should Know, I Am One!!!

I thought this would be fun ... lawyer jokes. The funny thing is most of my friends are lawyers, and guess what? They love lawyer jokes more than anyone ... so if you've got any, throw 'em at me:

What's the difference between a lawyer and a hooker?
The hooker will stop fucking you once you're dead.

Two lawyers are walking along the beach in Florida when they spot a nude blonde model drowning. Both of the lawyers decide to be chivalrous and swim out to rescue her. When they get her back to the shore, they notice she has since passed out. The first lawyer looks at his buddy and says, "Hey, let's screw her!!" The second lawyer asks, "Out of what?"

Did you hear about the lawyer who would get turned on by the law?
He got off on a technicality.

I know these are terrible, but if you've got more, post 'em in the comments.

Congratulations!! You've Been Drafted

I was watching the Simpsons the other day when the commercials start in. One caught my attention, it was one of those special reports from the local news station. You know the ones with the ominous music and the voice over: "Stress kills more Americans every year. Job related stress is a leading cause of heart attacks. Could your job be killing you? Tune in at 6 tomorrow to see if your job is killing you and what you can do to prevent it." Of course, if you happen to tune in, the segment is like 3 minutes long and their tips to prevent stress are so lame: "take a walk after work; get up and get away from your desk for a few minutes; try to meditate at your desk", and other bits of "help". Anyways, this station breaks in with "Some critics say that America's armed forces are being stretched too thin. Could a national draft be next? And what do local kids say about the possibility of a draft?" (Cut to a couple of black teenagers sitting in a classroom with a voiceover of one saying that it would be better to volunteer than to get drafted).

Does anyone see what I see in that commercial? To me, it seems like showing a couple of black teenagers and the possibility of getting drafted won't create any controversy (of course, this is a Sinclair broadcasting channel, which did everything it could save air a homemade porno of John Kerry to get Bush, the Anti-Christ, re-elected). Anyways, I was curious as to why this commercial would only show black teenagers; if they wanted to increase viewership, all they had to do was interview some white kids from the suburbs. Of course, this station might view this as not supporting the Bush, the Anti-Christ (hereinafter the A/C) and his little war; and we can't have that, can we?

So, how likely is a draft? Everytime I see "experts" on TV, they keep saying either we have the manpower and there is no crisis (i.e. Pentagon staff memebers or generals) or we have someone saying the forces are stretched thin to the breaking point (i.e. think-tank guy).

I think the truth lies somewhere between. For one, I know that recruiters are desperate. The fact is, no one wants this war except big-business because they're the only ones that stand to profit from this.

So why is the average Joe going to send his kids to fight for a war that everyone knows was premised on a lie? Eventually the military is going to have the problems that were rampant following Vietnam up until Desert Storm, which is poor quality troops. The qualifications for enlistment will fall, therefore, the quality of soldiers/sailors will drop. It used to be "go to jail, or go to the Marines." Watch the movie Buffalo Soldiers to get an idea of how the Army was before Desert Storm. It won't be long before we hit that again; if it isn't already happening.

Plus troop morale is low; very low. The worst thing you can do to a soldier is to send to a combat zone or to some shitty assignment and tell him "you'll be here for one year". Then near the end of the tour, tell him you're going to extend his tour. Imagine being told after one year of bombings, shootings, firefights with civilians getting killed that you're being extended involuntarily. Who is going to reenlist if Uncle Sam can't even keep his promise that your tour is one year?

Ultimately, unless we pull our troops very soon, there will be either a severe loosening of recruitment standards or a draft. Something has to give and soon. Unfortunately, if there is a draft, the rich will find a way around it by going to college and then Congress will simultaneously cut student financial aid in the same breath.

The only good thing about a draft is the severity of the action. A draft will no doubt prompt protests, unrest, civil disobedience, and public pressure on an administration that gets very unfavorable marks in foreign policy by the American public. This country is going down the wrong path right now and most people sense bad times are ahead (unless you are one of those for whom tax breaks "really" help; i.e. the upper 5%). It is unfortunate that something as extreme as a draft would have to take place to facilitate genuine change in society; but it would do just that. It takes a tragedy and outrage and sadly in the case of the war, probably more deaths to effectuate positive change.

This Can't Be Happening ... Not Now

As if things in my life aren't shitty enough, I could always count on one thing to bring a smile to my face or get me pumped (as silly as that sounds). It looks one of my all-time favorite bands in the world has probably broken up. Yes, it's true ... it looks like "Los Ninos de Blink" are done; Blink 182 are probably through.

I know it's silly for a guy who is going on 34 to be a fan of band like Blink 182. But you've got to realize that I've been listening to these guys almost as long as they've been a band. I first heard these guys when I was living back in Florida in 1996. I had just started getting into the whole ska-punk thing and I heard NoFX for the first time. So at the indie record store I always shopped at, they had a "if you like this, try this" thing at the front of the store. So, they had NoFx "Heavy Petting Zoo" and the "try" CD was Blink 182 "Buddha" (a used copy but I was happy nonetheless). I heard it, liked it alot, and so I bought it.

The following year (1997) the guys released "Dude Ranch". I had sorta forgotten about the band, but the first time I heard "Damnit (Growing Up)" on the college radio station back home (I was out of the Army by this time), I ran out immediately and bought the CD (along with Less Than Jake "Losing Streak"). From that point forward, Blink CDs always occupied a spot in either my CD player or my computer or my walkman. I always ran out and bought the new CD on the day it was released; I tried to see them in concert as often as I could afford (unfortunately for me, it was only twice I got to see them live). I was and will always truly be a fan for many reasons. First, if I ever was talented enough to start a band, these guys embodied the spirit I wanted. They didn't take themselves too seriously, they made jokes about themselves constantly so that it never seemed that stardom got to their heads, and they had a good time wherever they went. Secondly, they never forgot the fans. There is a restaurant in San Diego called Sombrero where they grew up. They always stop in to eat whenever they can. Some fans heard about this and started to send letters, pictures, etc. to Sombrero. So when Tom and Mark would stop in for a bite to eat, they would go through the stuff and call the fans to thank them. And third, their music was just fun. Simple riffs, fun melodies, and the videos were hilarious.

I think my company would have some sort of objection if I wore a black armband tomorrow or wore one of my concert t-shirts. I will mourn to myself because although it sounds a little corny, I also see this as a passing of another sort. I think the last album was sort a turning point. I think they knew the days of dick and fart joke songs were over and that it was time to move on. It's unfortunate, but it's almost like it was time to grow up and leave those things in the past. Growing up sucks and I guess maybe the guys felt that they had grown up and reached the point where the spirit of the band was no longer viable. I guess this is the sign that it's time for me to quit daydreaming about playing my guitar and just pick it up everyday or just let the fantasy go. (Sigh) I guess I have to grow up too ... but I'll go down fighting.

Ladies, Am I Doing Something Right or Wrong??

Someone of the female gender please explain this one to me. ML emailed me on Friday night. The email was simple saying that even though I probably didn't want to speak to her, it was important and to contact her. So, when you've broken up with someone and you get this sort of message, you start to imagine scenarios (i.e. I'm on my way to being a father). Well, it wasn't that because I started to think that if that were the case, I would've known about it a long time ago. Next, I remembered something stupid I said when I went for a last visit. Let me detail this a bit more.......

The last time I went to see ML was right before X-Mas. Truth is, she asked me to go down because I wouldn't be able to afford to visit until about the middle of January (gotta pay off that X-Mas stuff). I told her that I couldn't afford to. She said not to worry and to just get down there and she'd pay for everything. Now, my pride wouldn't let me just accept this, so I go down and tell her that I will pay her back for everything. And when we split, she made a comment that I knew her address and where to send the money I "owed" her.

So cut back to Friday's email. I immediately send her back a note saying that if she is worried about the money I "owe" her, that I will repay her when I get back my tax refund. SO, the next day I get note telling me that I'm an ass and that I jumped to conclusions without giving her a chance. Of course I reply saying I wasn't trying to be mean or an ass. But when you consider how bad we left things, what am I supposed to think? Emails fly back and forth all day and I decide to call. I leave a message telling her she can call if she gets the chance. Then I get a note saying to forget it, that she doesn't want to argue or take the chance on getting her feelings hurt again, and that I "was" special to her but that it is over now and that we both know it.

First of all, weren't my assumptions valid? I mean, when the last thing you hear about is the money, isn't it valid to assume that is what is important when she contacts me? Secondly, why would she contact me after all the venom she has spewed only a month ago? I only need to remember that is a girl who bragged (and rightly so) that there were 100 guys lined up for a shot and that every male student she student teaches is, in her words, "all about this." Is it the fact that I'm not on my knees begging (or not even speaking to her for that matter) that is driving her crazy? She repeatedly let me know that guys in her past would do anything for her.

I will not go back to her and I haven't responded to the last email. But I just want to learn from all of this. If I can learn something about myself or about relationships, then no matter how poorly a relationship is or how terribly it end, it is worthwhile. So any insights are greatly appreciated.

Why I Miss Home (New Mexico)

I was talking with one of my best friends on Saturday and mentioned that if possible, I want to move back to New Mexico. He pretty much said I was crazy because there is nothing out there. Serendipity has played a part in the form of VIVO, which is a wonderful website with some amazing pics of New Mexico.

Here are some of my faves:
A gorgeous New Mexico sunset
Gorgeous Architecture
Another gorgeous sunset (and nearly every day ends this beautifully)
Hiking in the desert
Skygazing
I miss clear sunny days with my beautiful mountains nearby

Thanks again VIVO (Tonya). Please check out the site; the pictures are amazing and you'll know why I miss my home state so much at times.

SNL

Is anyone bothered by the fact that SNL used to be this great, edgy show and now it's just safe drivel? It's always had its contemporary side, but I'm really bothered by how lame it is lately. For example, tonight was a special chronicling the first 5 years. I was shocked at how far the old show pushed the boundaries. There were skits with characters pretty much snorting a line or selling weed. Can you imagine the uproar that would raise today? It's amazing how one 40 year-old tit at the Super Bowl has completely destroyed humor and anything even slightly risque on television and radio today. And another thing, the skits were actually funny. How can anyone forget the skits with Bill Murray and Gilda Radner as the teenage nerds with Dan Ackroyd as the refridgerator repairman with asscrack going for days?? Hilarious. how about Celebrity Jeopary with Will Ferrell as Trebek and Daryl Hammond as Sean Connery?? Laughing for days as Sean Connery selects The Rapist as his category!!!

I watched SNL this past weekend a bit and with the exception of the news segment and Horatio Sanz, there isn't much funny I see on the show. Am I being too hard on it? Maybe I need to give it more of a chance. It seems that since Tracy Morgan, Will Ferrell, Jimmy Fallon, and Chris Katan have left, well, there isn't much left. I know I have to give the new cast a chance but the writing seems so thin today. I think part of it might have to do with the range of the cast members, which I don't think is all that broad. Tina Fey is brilliant, but beyond her, there just isn't much substance. Its seems the overwhelming majority of the new skits are based on current events, which helps keep the show current. However, it will never lend itself to developing the next Wayne and Garth; the next Blues Brothers; the next Coneheads; the next Operaman; or the next Spartan Spirit skits.

Another thing that left me bothered was the how the old SNL in those first 5 years had AMAZING musical guests. They would have Peter Tosh singing "Legalize It"; The Dead doing "Do You Believe In Magic"; Bob Dylan; Jimmy Cliff; Patty Smith; and the list goes on and on. Today, every once in a while, they'll get a band that is on the cutting edge like the Scissor Sisters. But for the most part today, it's safe stuff .... U2 (don't get me wrong, I love the boys but they're mellowed now); Eminem (who seems to be the musical host every other week); 50 Cent (who is the host on the odd weekends Eminem isn't on); Kelly Clarkson (try to refrain from snickering); and even "controversial" lip-syncing Ashley Simpson (like anyone actually believed she got where she is today based on talent). It seems that Clear Channel has taken over booking their musical guests, which could explain why the same musical guests show up 4 times every season.

Sigh ... guess just another sign that I'm getting older or that this nation is getting more uptight. I think in my heart its the latter; but maybe it is just me. Any thoughts??

Bush Is A Stoner!!!!

HAHA!! I think this news article was posted by the good folks at CNN because they knew how depressed Americans with intelligence and the rest of the world is feeling. There is a report that one of W's "friends" secretly taped him talking about smoking pot. He was criticizing Gore for talking about smoking pot since he didn't want some kid doing what he did.


Reporter: Hey W, you know they that pot is legal in Amsterdam, right?

The look on his face is like "Is that right? Sweet!!". The irony is that W is worried about some kid smoking pot. Shouldn't he worry about some kid in the future lying to Congress, the Nation, and the UN about a justification for going to war? Shouldn't he be worried about some kid in the future cutting aid to elderly, poor, and schoolchildren so that Haliburton can get a few more bucks? Of all the fucking dumb things to worry about; trust me, no kid is going to say "Hey, you know the president smoked pot. I think I will try it too." Fucking dumbass W.

Thanks Stayawhile ... I Needed A Good Laugh!!!

The always sexy and funny Stayawhile (a.k.a. Trixie) has a link to the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. She only prefaced it by saying "Bryan Adams is so gay." SO click on the link and I think you'll have a good laugh as well. I think I will have to kidnap Trixie and whisk her away to somewhere romantic like Hoboken so we can get married and have children named after hockey players or random TV characters ("OK, Eric Lindros sit down. And that goes for both of you as well, Jack Tripper and Magnum P.I.").

The Male Biological Clock

So tonight I watched Garden State. Great movie and very well acted. I know it's set up to manipulate your emotions and throw in some clever pseudo-philosophical meanderings to motivate our thought processes out of the sludge of Starbucks and reality TV mired in our brains. It was strange for me because even though the characters are only in their mid 20's, I related in some sense to the main character; well hell, we all do. We all have to make some sort of peace with our parents on some issues that divide us. We all have to admit that you can truly never go home again. We all have the same basic longings for someone to truly understand and truly love us. We all feel like somehow we're different; standing alone at the shallow end of the pool. And I will reveal unto some of those who take the time to read my incessant ramblings a little secret of the male species: Even men have a biological clock of sorts.

I can already here NML and maybe even Trixie moaning "There's no fucking way". Aaaah, but the male is similar to the female in that he feels the same longing for love and companionship. I know this because 6 or 7 years ago, I would have laughed if someone would've told me I'd feel this way. I had my epipheny during this past Christmas while at my sister's place. She just had a baby back in May, my newest nephew Dominick. When I first got to my sister's place, I envisioned a holiday full of diaper changes, a screaming baby, and virtually no rest. Instead, I found myself holding this kid at every opportunity; babysitting him while she ran to the supermarket; holding him for hours on end; and just generally being fascinated with him. Maybe it was because I didn't have to work coupled with caring for a child that made it easier for me. Who knows? All I know is that when I finally had to leave, I was torn up. I'm always a bit torn up saying goodbye to my family, but this time, my nephew had gotten to me. In a way, he made me realize that living a life only for myself is well ... pretty empty. I might actually want a kid myself!!!! I never thought I would admit it, but I've kept it repressed 'til now. Maybe its just that thing that men are supposed to feel like they want to have someone to pass on their accumulated knowledge of useless things such as my ability to change the oil in my Jeep, how to build the perfect campfire, and even how to make the world's greatest chili. And, it's an excuse to keep playing PS2 for a few more years .... heh-heh.

So seeing Garden State made me realize that I do long for more. More than ML could've given me (even though she was riding my ass to find a job near her so I could move down); more than anyone in the past could've given me. I want that thrill of meeting someone new. I want the thrill of discovering someone. I want that little thrill you get when your hands meet for the first time and your fingers intertwine. I want that slight bit of embarrassment you get when you get caught staring across the table at that person because you can't believe how lucky you are that this person wants something to do with YOU. Not to mention that first kiss or the first time you two are alone and you're in no hurry to go anywhere. I just wanna find my Natalie Portman to stand with me in the rain on some abandoned piece of construction equipment and yell out into the abyss. Fuck, I'm getting old and trite. I hope I don't turn into one of those old men who keep telling young couples things like "Hang on to one another so you don't end up like me." I don't want to be the old guy at the club who, as Chris Rock says, "He's not really old, just too old to be at the club".

I think the difference for men and women is again the problem of maturity gaps. I'm nearly 35, still trying desperately to feel young. I've spent a lifetime running away from things that might tie me down (a bit of that wanderlust in me). However, now I'm at the maturity stage that women feel at like 28. I'm only one person so I don't want to attempt to speak for all men, but I'd say men certainly do mature later than women. Some men will mature more quickly than others; some women will not mature until close to my age. Some cynics will say it is a fear being alone that drive us to this point. Maybe. I like to think it's more than that and we're all somehow the same in some way underneath all the layers of consciousness we've chosen to wrap ourselves in.

Forgive me for such a lame post. I'll be back to my old self soon enough!!

Lawsuit/Tort Reform = You Get Fucked By Big Business

The Bush administration, brought to you by Haliburton, G.E., Exxon, and other large companies, signed into law a measure that will prevent many class action lawsuits from coming to light. The law requires that in order for a class action lawsuit to be brought into a state court, 1/3 of the people in the class must reside in that state. If not, it will be brought into federal court. Why is this important? Because once you get into federal court, big business has a definite advantage. See, the type of lawyers who might take a class action lawsuit in a state court case will be a smaller law firm, which is usually a law firm that will have a lot less experience in a federal setting. Big businesses can afford to hire big law firms that have 1000's of attorneys in several locations around the world. I'll guarantee you that when a class action case is filed, dozens of attorneys start working for the defense of the big company; for the plaintiffs, they're lucky that there is one attorney working on it (and even luckier if he has one or two law clerks helping out as well).

Plus, the big law firms will throw out everything they can to stall for time. I clerked for an attorney who once took on one of the big automakers in Detroit. When he requested to see all of the related documents (which the carmaker and their attorneys are supposed to turn over the requested items don't get "lost" by some law clerk or they simply can't find them because they "don't have enough manpower to sort through mountains of paperwork"), the carmaker literally sent over a tractor trailer loaded with documents. The "smoking gun" documents were in there, but they were buried and it took weeks to find it. The big firms simply "starve you out". They can file motion after motion; defense after defense; etc.. The idea is to draw out the case as long as possible until neither the plaintiffs nor their attorneys can neither bear it or afford to keep fighting.

So why doesn't the average Joe just hire one of the big law firms? Big law firms don't work on retainer. Big law firms don't take personal injury work. Big law firms only do defense work. So what type of law firm is going to take your case? A smaller law firm, which will have less experience in federal court. Small law firm attorneys certainly won't be cozy with the federal judges who were classmates of the attorneys from the big law firms. I firmly challenge anyone to call one of the big law firms in this country (need a list? I'll get you one) and call them about seeing if they'll help you sue a car manufacturer whose defective brakepads didn't work thus not enabling you to stop in time, and hit a parked car. They not only won't take your case; they won't even talk to you.

In the case of Tort/Lawsuit Reform, it's a clever switch of terminology here to get your sympathy. See, the anti-christ, I mean Bush, will call this a measure to throw out frivilous lawsuits. This makes you think that the courts are swamped with frivilous lawsuits; that every personal injury firm is filling the court docket with tons of lawsuits just hoping one will stick. Actually, nothing could be further from the truth. The number of filings has remained consistent for some time now. There is no glut in the courts. There has been no substantial increase in the number of cases

So what is this "frivilous" lawsuit thing about? It's a policy that Bush and his cronies are making use of; you change the terminology to suit your need. For example, now everyone is convinced that we need to get rid of the "death tax"; only problem is, it's not a tax on death. It's a tax on inheritances. Ask the average American family with two jobs, struggling to make mortgage payments, and loaded with debt if there should be a tax on the inheritance that some little rich cocksucker gets when his old man kicks the bucket. You can damn sure they'll say "hell yeah". BUT .. if you recharacterize it as a tax on death or say "you should be able to keep what you earned during your lifetime", then the average family will say "no way we should tax it" (The idea behind the inheritance tax is that it is a way to redistribute wealth in a society so that it isn't concentrated in the hands of the few). All of this simply means that you use different words to place the meaning in a different context so it becomes harder to refute or challenge (after all, what politician is going to say "yes, we need a tax on death?).

So what will the end result of all this be? This will be a return to the Ford Pinto days of the 1970's. Remember that? Probably not and most Americans have forgotten it which is disturbing. In the '70's, Ford was hit by a spate of lawsuits involving their Pinto. Apparently, when you hit the car from behind, it would explode into flames. But fixing the cars wasn't an option for Ford. Why you ask? Ford had already calculated that it was more cost efficient to settle any impending lawsuits involving Ford Pintos than to recall and fix the cars. So they were goin to let more people die rather than fix the cars because it was cheaper. Americans were outraged and all hell broke loose. Well, we've forgotten the lessons of the 70's. Guess what? With this new law, it will be cheaper for companies like G.E. and Eli Lilly to settle with victims than to correct the problems and save lives. So now you'll see the day when people die or get injured by products, they'll be told what the maximum amount they can get for their injuries because there are now laws on the books with that figure, thanks to the Anti-Christ and his coven there in D.C..