I Feel Like The Clown In The Pic

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. You see, in my fruitless efforts to get rid of my buddha, my trainer has put me on a diet. And not just any diet ... nope, this is one of those colon-cleansing diets.

I don't think he really knows what's he doing to be honest. I mean, sure he's cut as hard as a diamond. Yeah, he totally motivates me during workouts. He can squeeze that extra rep or two out of me when I might normally admit muscle failure and walk away to the next exercise.

But this diet is a bit ridiculous. He's got me eating only certain things for one week and it's killing me. All I can eat is yogurt (fruit flavors only with those active cultures); apples; papaya; blueberries; grapefruit; whey protein; and tons of water. All of this is supposedly designed to make me shit like I've got two assholes.

There is no grilled chicken with no skin. No lettuce. No broccoli. In other words, I'm limited to these few foods and you know what? He's ruining foods that I love. I love yogurt. I love Fuji apples (I can tear through a bag in a weekend). But right now, I don't want to eat anything sweet at all. I'd love to eat something hot. I'd love some meat.

We'll see how long I can take it before I break down.