The world has officially gotten tired of the commercialism of Christmas. In apparent response, a company in Wisconsin has begun to market the Official Festivus Pole. I think if I ever get married and have kids, we may just have to do Festivus sometime in December.
Naturally there will be the airing of grievances. What better way to get in the holiday mood than to simply start family fights that are brewing just under the surface? Think about it; instead of waiting for a family member to fuck up .... again; this is just more of pre-emptive strike.
Next will be the feats of strength. Festivus cannot end until these are performed. With my family, this will typically consist of sitting through Lifetime movies which in of itself is a sure sign of intestinal fortitude. In my case, simply hauling my gargantuan carcass from the kitchen table to the couch is a feat to be rivaled. Wow, you know, even now Festivus is beginning to sound more and more like Christmas. Even Festivus is now ruined!!
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