Saturday, December 10, 2005

South vs. North

Well, the move is over and there are some things naturally that are going to be like night and day between Ohio and Georgia.

1. The ladies are much prettier in the South. I don't think this is a real shock; there just seem to be an abundance of cute lil' Southern girls everywhere I go ... in addition to the abundace of slack jawed yokels. Ohio seemed to have an dirge of meaty-armed Amazons with the mindset that because she could squeeze into a pair of jeans, she was entitled to wear a baby-doll shirt 2 sizes too small.

2. Cold weather is a joke in the South. The temperature is all of forty-something today and I've seen so many people running around with parkas and gloves here. In Ohio, 40ish is an excuse to let the kids play outside and to wear shorts. Plus, there was a bit of icy weather Wednesday night, so the news was reporting how local officials were planning to salt the roads!!! Salt the roads as if 6 inches were expected!!!

3. You know you're in Klan country when ..... My cousin and his wife literally live a few miles from a museum that purports to record Civil War history, but is really nothing more than a store front for the Klan. They have Klan rally propaganda as well as W stickers for sell. Makes you wonder. In Ohio, the Klan is there but there are certainly not any stores openly selling Klan gear.

4. Where did all the Catholics go? According to my own bit of research so far, there are only 2 or 3 Catholic churches in northern Atlanta. One of the largest cities in the nation and there are very few Catholic churches. In Ohio, you could throw a rock and hit 2 or 3. Mardi Gras or St. Patrick's Day won't be as exciting without a bunch of us Catholics to relieve our guilt.

5. City planning is definitely a Yankee thing. Oh this is gospel; most cities for the most part are built on a grid pattern in the north. Not here; I have never seen so many roads curve and double back in my life. It's as if Jose Feliciano designed the entire road system for the city.

6. No White Castle. Now, I've never been a fan of punishing my intestinal tract with the wonder that is a Slider, but every now and then the drunk Devil needs sustenance. Now, the South has Krystals, which taste-wise, is probably superior to the Castle. But it just ain't the same when you wake up the next morning running to the porcelain throne to bemoan the fact you had 6 Sliders while you were drunk.

7. I can now have real BBQ. No more of that stuff they call BBQ in the North. Sure, Cincinnati has the world famous Montgomery Inn. But BBQ isn't meant to be eaten in high-end digs. It's meant to be served on wax paper from a small hole in the wall place where you're sitting next to a guy in a business suit who looks as if he's on the verge of another coronary episode.

8. I haven't seen one nearby yet, but rumor has it they have Piggly Wiggly here ....

More observations as I get acclimated to the South.


A. Estella Sassypants said...

Piggly Wiggly was a big shock the first time I saw one in NC. I had a Steel Magnolias flashback and asked the bf at the time, "Those are real and still around?" He looked at me funny.

Oh, and over the weekend I heard a spot on news radio about a city near here opening its first Catholic church EVER. And this is a Dallas 'burb.

Cincysundevil said...

WOW!! The first Catholic church ever! Now, that is a shock considering how many Hispanics are in the Dallas area.

SeaKitty said...

i can not believe you actually moved to "the south."

Cincysundevil said...

It's a shock to me as well!!