Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Mediocrity Rewarded

Nothing makes me sicker in sports than a commitment to mediocrity. Apparently, the athletic director of my alma mater, Arizona State, couldn't be bothered to look for a new coach. So, in her laziness and stupidity, she decided to extend this dipshit's, Coach Dirk Koetter, contract.

Why is this such a big deal? Well, take a look at his record. First of all, this idiot has compiled a whopping record of 32 - 28 in his five years. A little over .500 but yet this clown gets an extension. Now considering the massive wins we get over powerhouse programs like Temple, New Mexico State, and UTEP, you would think that to warrant an extension, you'd need some conference wins, right? Wrong as hell; apparently a 17 - 23 record in the Pac-10 is good enough.

But wait Cincy; doesn't ASU have one of the most potent offenses in the nation? Sure; if you let us throw on you. See, I post on a message board where this clown's supporters will say things like "Well, he's learned that you need to run the ball to win games". Really? What fucking football coach doesn't already know this? If you don't know this, you should be coaching .... especially not at my school!!!

Oh yeah, the little comment on the clown's picture reflects his commitment to defense. See, ASU was 114th in the nation in defense. Not even in the top 50. So basically, we have to run up a score to win a game. This clown was using a 4-2-5 defense ... what the fuck is that defense? It was more like an area code than a defense. Teams embarrassed us on a regular basis and well, to be honest, they still do. We have never had a defense ranked very high under this asswipe's tenure and we never will.

Now some people will say "he's only the coach; he's not playing". Well, guess what? He's getting over $600K a year so he gets the blame. If it goes well, he's a genius, when we lose, he's to blame. Pay me $600K a year and I'll take the blame for Hurrican Katrina, the situation in the Iraq, and I'll even teach W with Hooked on Phonics.

The best part is his weekly news conference where he brags when we win or passes blame when we lose. I wish I could do a .500 job and have my boss give me a raise. I could come up with creative excuses every week like "Well, I would've had the report done on time but Johnson was out with a knee injuy, so blame him" or "We just didn't want it bad enough to get it done on time". Maybe I could be the next ASU coach; at least I'd have entertaining excuses every week when we lost.


Ruben said...

MAybe something miraculous will happen with this guy like what happened to the Chicago bears coach and he will pull his head out of his ass and start winning.

Cincysundevil said...

I can only pray ... and write more damning letters to the athletic director calling for her resignation!