Friday, August 12, 2005

Life Altering Tragedy? Get A Makeover!!!!

I don’t know the name of this horrible show, but every morning as I’m getting ready for work, it’s on. It’s this syndicated talk show where 4 women sit around, drink coffee, and babble mindlessly about inane subjects that no one really cares about. No, I don’t give a rat’s ass about the latest sweaters for my Mexican hairless (I’ll leave that to your imagination … heh-heh). No, I could less about the newest fall fashions that can never be worn into the work place and will be out of style by next summer. No, I don’t need 10 hints to relieve the harmful stress where number 5 something lame like “talk a walk and go someplace quiet”.

But the worst travesty of this show is the makeover portion. Every morning, some poor woman who has had some sort of life altering tragedy is given a makeover. How fucking lame is that? Sure, the woman who just lost all of her worldly possessions when the packing crate behind Sizzler went up really needs about $20 in cheap makeup. That’ll get her on the right track to rebuilding her life. No, no … don’t worry about getting the woman some warm clothes and a place to stay; let’s ply her with worthless shit that our advertisers hock. Don’t worry about counseling for the woman who just lost both children in a tragic car fire that also burned 90% of her skin off. Just get her lousy clothes from the female equivalent of Merry Go Round or Chess King and cake on the makeup!! Plus, why does every woman get the same haircut? Apparently I’m unaware of the law that says that once a woman gets past 40, she must get that short, spiky old lady haircut a la Jamie Lee Curtis that says “yeah, I’m an old bag, but I’m still trying to act hip”. Just because she can pull it off doesn't mean everyone can.

The other tragedy of the show is that Jules Asner hosts. This hottie used to have Brooke Burke’s old job on that E! show, Wild On. Now she’s reduced to a poor man’s version of The View. Maybe they’ll get someone who can eat like she has 2 assholes to become the show’s resident Star Jones bizarro twin.


Lindsay said...

lol sooo true about that spiky old lady haircut...I've always wondered WTF is up with that. If I ever get one of those when I'm really old, please slap me.

good to see you back!

Cincysundevil said...

Thanks!! I've seen that old lady haircut around here in Ohio far too much for my liking.