You Just Gotta Let Some Shit Slide

Isn't this like calling a mentally challenged kid for double dribble? You just gotta let some things slide.

Garfunkel Busted For Pot

Come on now .... this is like arresting Tyson for getting his ass kicked in a fight.

This is like arresting a horny drunk guy for nailing Rosie O.

This is like giving a Southern Baptist hell for not having sex standing up because he believes its too much like dancing.

This is like laughing at fat, Wal-Mart shopping, mini-van driving housewives for buying Josh Groban CD's.

This is like getting pissed off because the directions that the hilljack gave you included "turn off the paved road".

This is like expecting a "pleasant dining experience" at a McDonalds.

Some shit you just gotta let slide.......

I'm Da Man

Thanks to Mo for this one! I guess I'm much more debonair than I thought!

Cary Grant You scored 21% Tough, 0% Roguish, 42% Friendly, and 38% Charming!

You are the epitome of charm and style, the smooth operator who steals the show with your sophisticated wit, quiet confidence and flirty sense of humor. You are able to catch any woman you want just by flashing that disarming smile, even if you're flashing it at a kindly aunt or engaging child at the time. When you walk into a room, women are instantly intrigued and even the men are impressed, but you're too nice a guy to steal anyone else's girl...unless the guy deserves it. You're stylish, yes, but you can also be a little bit nutty. However, you're primarily seen as dashing, suave and romantic. Your co-stars include Katharine Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn, and Grace Kelly, stylish women with a sense of fun. Find out what kind of classic dame you'd make by taking the Classic Dames Test.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 33% on Tough You scored higher than 0% on Roguish You scored higher than 78% on Friendly You scored higher than 80% on Charming

Link: The Classic Leading Man Test written by gidgetgoes on Ok Cupid

The Devil's Music Wet Dream

As if you needed another good reason to listen to WOXY Vintage, they've now released the Modern Rock 500 list. This is a like a wet dream for me with my musical tastes. Admittedly, some of these bands I wasn't much into but I do plan on going back and listening to these tunes. I've only listed the Top 150, so there are another 350 for you to explore and love .... kinda like that first time you decided to rub one out ......

1	Joy Division	Love Will Tear Us Apart
2	Nirvana	Smells Like Teen Spirit
3	The Smiths	How Soon Is Now?
4	Sex Pistols	Anarchy In The UK
5	The Ramones	Blitzkrieg Bop
6	Pixies	Monkey Gone To Heaven
7	Jane's Addiction	Been Caught Stealing
8	U2	New Year's Day
9	R.E.M.	Radio Free Europe
10	The Stone Roses	I Wanna Be Adored
11	The Clash	London Calling
12	Pearl Jam	Alive
13	Radiohead	Creep
14	Sex Pistols	God Save The Queen
15	Nine Inch Nails	Head Like A Hole
16	New Order	Blue Monday
17	Talking Heads	Psycho Killer
18	Violent Femmes	Blister In The Sun
19	The Police	Roxanne
20	Red Hot Chili Peppers	Under The Bridge
21	Jane's Addiction	Jane Says
22	Pearl Jam	Jeremy
23	Green Day	Longview
24	Beck	Loser
25	Faith No More	Epic
26	Nirvana	In Bloom
27	Blondie	Heart Of Glass
28	The B-52's	Rock Lobster
29	Beastie Boys	Fight For Your Right
30	Fugazi	Waiting Room
31	U2	With Or Without You
32	David Bowie	Space Oddity
33	Depeche Mode	Personal Jesus
34	The Ramones	I Wanna Be Sedated
35	Pixies	Where Is My Mind?
36	Weezer	Undone - The Sweater Song
37	Iggy Pop	Lust For Life
38	Smashing Pumpkins	Today
39	Bauhaus	Bela Lugosi's Dead
40	Elvis Costello	Radio Radio
41	Red Hot Chili Peppers	Give It Away
42	Lou Reed	Walk On The Wild Side
43	Husker Du	Makes No Sense At All
44	Pixies	Here Comes Your Man
45	Radiohead	Paranoid Android
46	Television	Marquee Moon
47	Patti Smith	Dancing Barefoot
48	U2	Sunday Bloody Sunday
49	My Bloody Valentine	Only Shallow
50	Sonic Youth	Teenage Riot
51	Talking Heads	Burning Down The House
52	The Clash	Train In Vain
53	The Replacements	Alex Chilton
54	The Stooges	I Wanna Be Your Dog
55	Dead Milkmen	Bitchin' Camaro
56	Elvis Costello	"(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding "
57	Psychedelic Furs	Pretty In Pink
58	Nine Inch Nails	Hurt
59	R.E.M.	It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
60	Beastie Boys	Sabotage
61	Pearl Jam	Even Flow
62	Public Enemy	Bring The Noise
63	The Cure	Boys Don't Cry
64	Bob Marley	"Get Up, Stand Up"
65	The White Stripes	Seven Nation Army
66	XTC	Dear God
67	Devo	(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction
68	New Order	Bizarre Love Triangle
69	Lo Fidelity All Stars	Battle Flag
70	David Bowie	Changes
71	Blondie	Rapture
72	U2	Pride (In The Name Of Love)
73	Gary Numan	Cars
74	Nirvana	Come As You Are
75	Pavement	Cut Your Hair
76	Modern English	I Melt With You
77	Blur	Song 2
78	Radiohead	Fake Plastic Trees
79	Oasis	Wonderwall
80	The Velvet Underground	Sweet Jane
81	R.E.M.	Losing My Religion
82	Lenny Kravitz	Are You Gonna Go My Way?
83	Camper Van Beethoven	Take The Skinheads Bowling
84	Modest Mouse	Float On
85	Talking Heads	Take Me To The River
86	The Cure	Just Like Heaven
87	Folk Implosion	Natural One
88	Nirvana	All Apologies
89	Eurythmics	Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)
90	Weezer	Say It Ain't So
91	David Bowie	Suffragette City
92	The Jesus And Mary Chain	Just Like Honey
93	Nine Inch Nails	Closer
94	Beck	Where It's At
95	The Cure	Love Song
96	Elvis Costello	Alison
97	The Clash	Rock The Casbah
98	Primus	Tommy The Cat
99	Jeff Buckley	Last Goodbye
100	Boomtown Rats	I Don't Like Mondays
101	Green Day	Welcome To Paradise
102	Smashing Pumpkins	Disarm
103	Depeche Mode	People Are People
104	Bob Marley	Jamming
105	Talking Heads	Life During Wartime
106	The Clash	Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
107	The Velvet Underground	Rock & Roll
108	Weezer	Hash Pipe
109	Nirvana	Heart-Shaped Box
110	Devo	Whip It
111	Soundgarden	Black Hole Sun
112	Siouxsie & The Banshees	Cities In Dust
113	Elvis Costello	Pump It Up
114	U2	One
115	The Flaming Lips	Do You Realize?
116	The Breeders	Cannonball
117	The Cult	She Sells Sanctuary
118	Beastie Boys	So What'cha Want
119	Tori Amos	Silent All These Years
120	The Jesus And Mary Chain	Head On
121	R.E.M.	The One I Love
122	The Postal Service	Such Great Heights
123	Dead Kennedys	Holiday In Cambodia
124	Afghan Whigs	Rebirth Of The Cool
125	Cake	The Distance
126	The Jam	Town Called Malice
127	The Cure	In Between Days
128	The Verve	Bittersweet Symphony
129	Radiohead	Karma Police
130	Matthew Sweet	Girlfriend
131	The Police	Message In A Bottle
132	Coldplay	Clocks
133	James	Laid
134	Squeeze	Tempted
135	Cracker	Low
136	Social Distortion	Ball And Chain
137	R.E.M.	Orange Crush
138	Jim Carroll Band	People Who Died
139	The Dandy Warhols	Bohemian Like You
140	Joe Jackson	Is She Really Going Out With Him?
141	Kate Bush	Running Up That Hill
142	Pulp	Common People
143	Public Image Limited	Rise
144	Screaming Trees	Nearly Lost You
145	Faith No More	We Care A Lot
146	Pixies	Gigantic
147	Oasis	Live Forever
148	Radiohead	Just
149	Modest Mouse	Ocean Breathes Salty
150	Killing Joke	Eighties

By the way, #68 and #86 are probably my 2 all-time faves. Now, get off your ass and go listen!!

Apparently Jesus Packs Heat

Pat Robertson ... idiot extraordinaire. What more do I need to say? A man of God calling for the assasination of a foreign leader who is one of the most outspoken critics of the US.

What seems to be lost in all of the hubbub is that Roberston pretty much acknowledges that the war in Iraq is over oil and nothing else. His comment?

You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war. And I don't think any oil shipments will stop.

He is worried about oil shipments? WTF?!?!? Apparently the taking of a man's life is of little importance because we need oil to keep those God-fearing companies like Shell and Exxon in business so they can do the Lord's work. I seem to have forgotten that Jesus was out trying to start wars over oil and in the interests of only his small corner of the Earty, pitting the Galileans against Bethlehemians. How could I have forgotten the God of trickle down economics when we have such great men of God like Robertson?

Where is the Conservative outrage that this man is somehow implying that the Iraq war is over oil? Oh I forgot, it's okay for him. Obviously, there are 2 sets of standards at work here: Those for Bush and Those Against Bush.

This is also the guy who commented that a small nuke should be used on Foggy Bottom, VA where the State department is set up. Or follow this moron's logical progression. He goes from this:

A Supreme Court ruling is not the Law of the United States. The law of the United Sates is the Constitution, treaties made in accordance with the Constitution, and laws duly enacted by the Congress and signed by the president. And any of those things I would uphold totally with all of my strength, whether I agreed with them or not.... I am bound by the laws of the United States and all 50 states ... [but] I am not bound by any case or any court to which I myself am not a party.... I don't think the Congress of the United States is subservient to the courts.... They can ignore a Supreme Court ruling if they so choose.
-- Pat Robertson, speaking to a group of Washington Post writers, as reported in the Washington Post, June 27,1986

To this ...
Supreme Court decisions are binding in the court systems ... but in terms of general law, which binds every citizen, why should you and I be bound because of the ineptitude, if you will, or the skill of one or more defense lawyers, or the plaintiffs in any particular lawsuit?
-- Pat Robertson, The 700 Club television program, October 23, 1987. No wonder he couldn't pass the Bar Exam: any decision by a court at the federal level becomes law, binding upon all citizens.

Wow, I wish I had learned this brilliant piece during law school. I could've just said, "I"m sorry but you have to give me an A+ because the law doesn't apply to me." What a fucktard this guy is......

Tragedy Strikes .... AGAIN!!!

As if the Patriots winning the Super Bowl wasn't enough to ruin my sports year, something every bit as terrible happened today. One of my 2 alma maters fired their legendary head basketball coach. If you live in the Midwest, you probably already know what I'm talking about. Bob Huggins was canned today. Get another job on campus (not coaching basketball) for his remaining one year or quit.

SI hated us. The Bearcats were the bad guys of the NCAA. We had every thug from every backalley court you could imagine. And I loved it. Cincinnati might not win, but we'll beat your asses up and you'll know you played us.

I understand that college is about the spirit of the game and that students are there to get an education. But let's face it; once you're an alum, you want to talk shit to your friends that went to other schools (or in my case, talk shit to my family that went to Texas Tech because they really think they're on top of the world with Knight there).

Since football will never be a winning proposition at UC or in Cincinnati, we had bball. There is the Crosstown Shootout with Xavier(Xavier has done pretty well lately, but it's sorta funny because for them it was their whole season sometimes to beat us while we were already counting on the big dance). UC kept civic pride when the Bungles and the Reds were stinking it up (and the Reds still are stinking it up).

But kiss those days goodbye. The timing of this was fucking terrible. You fire a coach right as recruiting starts with some of those being national prospects all but pulling Cincinnati from their choices. Of course, the President of UC didn't have the nerve to tell Huggins to his face. Apparently, he was coming off of a plane and found out as he unboarded that he had pretty much been shown the door. The President didn't want him around but didn't have a plan of action either. If you were gonna fire the guy, fire him in the fucking offseason when we're not IN THE MIDDLE OF RECRUITING!!!! Fire him about the DUI you're using as an excuse now to fire him. But don't wait nearly a year and a haf to do it only a few months before tipoff of the season.

To top if off, we're going into the Big East this year. We'll go from a perennial tourney team to a team lucky to get into the NIT ("Not In the Tournament"). We're going to be the whipping boys for the Big East.

Huggins went 399-127 during his tenure; roughly 74%. 14 straight NCAA tournament appearances. Imagine; a coach with a record like that in college football. That guy is going to be coaching at Oklahoma or USC. We had that here at UC ... had ... and now it's gone.

Something else to be considered is that Huggins gave alot of players a shot that they might not have otherwise had. Kids that might not have gone on to college or kids who walked onto the team. In a day and age when alot of other coaches are big time, Huggins was listed in the phone book. His kids went to public school. He was just a guy (with a temper at times) but he was just a regular joe. The next guy is gonna be screwed having to fill Huggins' shoes because no one will probably ever be able to fill them.

Forgetful Inspiration

Amazing what one phone call can do. While at Arizona State, I was a T.A. for a professor who ended up becoming a great friend and someone who I still maintain regular contact with. Pedro (Dr. Pete Padilla, right) has always been supportive and we end up talking for over an hour every time I call.

Maybe Pete is forgetful. Usually it’s something small that I can give him shit about like "you left your beer over there" or "we already saw her by the bar". However, on Sunday, it was something huge he completely forgot. I never thought I'd say it but forgetting was actually was a good thing. See, Pedro forgot that I’m applying to grad school this fall. Completely lost track of it even though he’ll be writing one of my letters of recommendation and reviewing my writing sample.

Our phone conversations usually start off with talk about familes. At graduation, he met my folks and they totally dug him. They always ask how he’s doing and vice versa. From there we progress to talk about work, what is going on with his teaching/research, and the Sociology department gossip.

So I start into my daily tirade about how my job is robbing me of my soul and stripping away my dignity. He then just out of the blue says to me:

“Hey bro, you know you oughta teach. Have you thought about teaching at the college level? You’d be great at it.”

I almost started laughing and was ready to start into full shit-giving mode when my brain synapses actually fired despite having to deal with brain-dead fucks on the phone all week at work. I thought to myself in a split second….

“He’s actually forgotten I’m applying to grad school so I can teach someday. If that’s the case, then really his statement that I should think about teaching college someday is really an unsolicited statement. He thinks I’d be a great prof.”

I laughingly reminded him I’m applying this fall and he remembered. I tell him what I’m doing and so on. I tell him the GRE is what is worrying me. I know I’d get in somewhere; the question is where and the GRE score makes that difference.

But once off the phone, I felt inspired again. It was as if someone who knew me but didn’t know my plans just outright declared that I would be a great college professor. I needed that bit of inspiration to push me to work on my packet and to keep studying for the GRE. Thanks Pedro!!

My Ohio Observations

Having lived here for 5 years now, I've noticed so many differences between the Southwest and the Midwest, so in the name of convenience, I've compiled a few of them here:

1. A tan is not synonymous with a great body. Simply because you spent a week laying out and drinking cans of Budweiser on the Redneck Riveria doesn't instantly grant you a killer bod. There are also an abundance of tanning spas here. Note: you're not fooling us in January with the tan; we know you didn't fly down to the Caribbean for a weekend getaway, not when you work at TCBY or Footlocker.

2. Everyone here smokes. I mean everyone. Men, women, children, priests, nuns, pets. Everyone smokes. There is absolutely no sense in wearing cologne to a bar or nightclub here. Nothing smells better than Aramis Life cologne and the stench of 100 people smoking GPC's.

3. There are no great local restaurants in my part of Ohio. Forbes did a write up about the best cities for singles. The review of Cincinnati was less than flattering. It mentioned that a night out in the 'Nati consisted of wearing your best sweats to a chain restaurant.

4. Everyone who grew up here loves classic rock. I don't get it. In high school or college at a party out West, if you threw on a Steve Miller or Bob Seger song, it was like those scenes in a movie when the wrong people walk into a party. The record scratches and everyone just stops and stares at you. Steve Miller can still sell out a show at a huge outdoor venue with about 1/2 the crowd younger than me while Ted Leo and the Pharmacists come to town and have to play some hole in the wall club. I don't get it ......

5. Mullets exist in huge abundance here. Male and female alike.

6. This state would be perfectly fine if every professional sports franchise closed shop leaving only Ohio State football. In the West, there is so much to do outside of going to college football games (especially in Arizona) that it's tough for sports teams to compete. Do you really want to go see a mediocre baseball team (yes, I'm a D'Backs fan) play a game in the middle of the day when you can go to Sedona?

7. This place seems to run about 5 or 6 years behind everyplace else. In other words, don't come to Ohio if you wanna see anything trendy. Mark Twain once commented that when the world was ending, he'd go to Cincinnati because it's always 15 years behind everyone else. For instance, the whole Fast and Furious car craze is barely beginning to take off here.

8. Any time I see a live band in Ohio, I can be assured just as certain as death and taxes that someone will scream "Play some Skynard" or "Freebird". Also, for whatever reason, cheesy mook rock bands like Nickelback can still sell out shows here.

9. BW3's seems to be more popular than any bar or night club here.

10. Kids here all know how to play card games. When I grew up out West, we were never inside enough to sit down to learn to play cards. I will probably never get into poker as a sport or play euchre.

11. Ohio has a weird state flag. Yeah, I know it's the only state with a pennant, but it seems that a state flag is meant to be just that ... a flag.

12. No one has figured out how to keep highways in good shape here. I see more orange cones on the roads here than the yellow dividing lines. When I first moved here, my car had just gotten new struts, shocks, and the alignment done. 6 months later, all 3 were shot.

Just a few of my Ohio observations. If you've got any others, just post 'em