Friday, October 17, 2008

It's All Joe Six Pack's Fault!!!

I know, I haven't blogged in years. It's true ... I've become everything I hated. The guy who can't finish a whole pizza leaving 1 slice. The guy who starts yawning at 1:00 AM when he's out with the guys. The guy who actually enjoys watching Antique Roadshow (shudder). The Devil is even in a great relationship with an amazing woman who is way too hot for him. But as all good things must come to an end, some good things can always start again. Thus I will TRY to blog again and keep it going. Sure, I may not be bitching about the opposite sex as much, but I still have plenty of venom left!

Today's bitch is about this election. What in the name of all that is holy is going on?? Didn't we learn a lesson from the last 8 years?? Why in God's name would be put another bonehead in the Oval Office?? Not necessarily McCain but that sorry excuse of a politician named Palin!!! Jesus fucking Christ .... what in the ... how in the ... whose brilliant idea .... I just can't even begin to put this into words!

Let me say this up front. I'm a blue collar sort of guy. Seriously, I am. I grew up with parents who worked blue collar jobs for a living. Neither of them went to college but they understood the value of hard work. They had to stretch every red cent to get the most of it. They enjoy a cold beer on the back patio as much as anyone. So if anyone understands blue collar, it is none other than the Devil, my friends.

With that being said, please spare me this Joe Six Pack bullshit of "I want a president who can sit down and have a beer with me". Really?? So let me get this straight ... you (being the proverbial Joe Six Pack - Palin bonehead supporter) want the leader of the free world to stop in at the double-wide and drink a Miller Hi-Life with you?? So because Jasper knows how to skin a buck in the field means he's able to cope with the complexities of the world's economic markets? That is your criteria for a president???

I'll be the asshole once again and say it: I want a president whose intelligence makes me look like W. I want someone who might be more concerned about the situation in Myanmar rather than whether the mountains turned blue on a can of Coors Light. Give me a president who understands the subleties of international diplomacy rather than the intricacies of flip cup. Regional corn-hole champ does not a good president make!!

Frankly, this is why America is in the mess it's in. We keep up this bullshit that we want someone just like us. We have this complex when someone is more intelligent. We can't stand it when someone grasps a better command of the English language beyond what Cooter speaks down at the "guh-rage".

So when that family down the street saves their money wisely and buys a larger home or even a new LCD TV, we sign onto a shady loan so that we can have something a little bit bigger:

Joe Six Pack: "What? Frank from down the street just bought a 42" HD LCD??"

Joe Six Pack's Old Lady: "Yeah, they saved them a bunch of money for like a year and bought it with cash money!! They even saved enough to buy one of them there Blue Rays too!"

Joe Six Pack: "Well honey, we need to pull some money out of the house so we can buy a 87" LCD the size of a wall with surrond sound because we "deserve" it. After all, we make a combined $40,000 a year. We deserve nice things."

America has become an entitlement society ... you're entitled just because your American. Not because you sacrificed to go to college; not because you put money away; not because you're brighter or smarter; not because you worked harder than the other guy. Nope; you're entitled because you're American and you work 40 hours a week.

No politician wants to say it ... but you know me. I'm an asshole. I'll say it. Joe Six Pack ... it's all your fault.

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

Dude! I totally thought you had shut down your blog...good to see you back at it again!

Great rant...this has been bugging me for months...why the hell do all these people want a President they can sit around and drink a PBR with? Like WTF? I want some dude who went to Harvard or Yale (and actually got in there on merit and went to class, unlike W) and knows a thing or two about econ and int'l affairs.

Oh, and Palin...Christ, don't even get me started. Everytime I hear her accent, I think my brain is going to explode, ya betcha!