Sunday, October 26, 2008

How College Football Is Like An Abusive Relationship

My relationship with my favorite teams is abusive. It really is. Imagine if you will an episode of Cheaters with me as the spurned husband and my beloved ASU football team as the low-down cheating spouse:

Cue the intro music ... Show Joey Greco's cheesy goatee, etc......

Joey: Hi, I'm Joey Greco and meet the Devil. A fragile, older fan who suspects that his ASU football team is flirting with complete and utter failure this season. In our interview, the Devil explains his suspicisions.

Devil: I don't know what's going on. I mean, like last season. They were winning and then towards the end of the season, they started letting me down. They beat Arizona but couldn't come through when it really mattered. Maybe it was the euphoria of being undefeated for so long. But I love them and decided to give them one more season. After all, I have a degree from ASU, you know? I have my suspicions that they're being unfaithful to their promises from last season.

Joey: As the Devil's suspicions grow, our private investigators trail ASU to confirm their infidelity.

Voiceover: Game 1 and Game 2 seem uneventful. ASU does what it needs to do to against Northern Arizona and Stanford. In Game 3, a new mistress appears. Cheater's PI's have identified this mistress as LOSING appears. In Games 4, 5, 6 and 7 yet another mistresss identified as GETTING YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU appears and never leaves.

Yeah, this is about how badly things have went this season. It's like an abusive relationship with that friend we all know. No matter how you put it, he or she won't leave their abusive partner. They always somehow rationalize it as I would. The friend might tell you "BUT you don't understand him/her. You don't get to see the nice things that go on." Or in my case ... "You didn't see last season. They were so good."

I guess I'll have to catch ASU in the bed we share on top of COMPLETELY PATHETIC before I'll consider leaving.

1 comment:

Andi said...

Completely off topic, but look at you posting again. I checked in here not too long ago and you were set to private or something. Welcome back!