Another Sign I'm Completely Unhip

I'm flipping through internet radio stations the other day looking for new tunes to download because I've got to somehow keep up with Deeesguy. If you ever want to know what is coming out that is going to be absolutely awesome, check in with him. He is the man with his finger on the pulse of new music.

Anyways, I come across a tune by Mickey Avalon called "Jane Fonda". The chorus is essentially "do the Jane Fonda". Being a product of the 80's, I'm thinking this is a reference to the aerobics workout tapes. Apparently not. A quick check of Urban Dictionary reveals it is a reference to threesomes. The sad thing is I had no fucking idea!!!

I think I was ready to weep like a child when Old Yeller died. I just saw my last semblance of hipness die right in front of my eyes ... or in my earbuds, I should say! I'm ready for the suburbs I guess. I'll start shopping at Kohls for Dockers, I'll buy Nickelback and Black Eyed Peas CDs so I can act like I'm hip still, and I'll spend Saturdays at Home Depot buying lawn furniture.

Plus, I will win Lindsay's heart by wearing those sexy black socks with sandals.

Even Whores Falsely Advertise

In another sign of the impending apocalypse, the rich, spoiled cunt channel .... err, I mean MTV, has announced that it will now tape Total Request Live. To top things off, MTV has decided that they will keep the show called Total Request Live. The best thing about this is that it has become painfully obvious that MTV is losing its influence on the music industry for one painfully obvious reason: they don't play any fucking music!!!

If all you ever show are staged "reality" shows about rich fucks in California or a program with liquored up good looking, shallow early 2o-somethings that get drunk, cry, fight, and fuck ...... you're not going to have time to show music.

And guess what? The numbers show it. Don't believe me, read this from an article written on the AP .... "at its peak in 1999, "TRL" had 757,000 viewers a day, with 346,000 of them aged 12 to 17, according to Nielsen Media Research. So far this year, the show — now seen at 3:30 p.m. ET — averages 351,000 viewers a day, Nielsen said. The 12-to-17-year-old audience is only 113,000, half what it was only two years ago."

So here's what I say to this ...... FUCK YOU MTV. You've made an entire generation of young people today feel too fat, too poor, too inadequate. You've created this illusion that all young people want to do is get drunk, fuck, fight, and act as shallow as Paris Hilton or her ilk. You are finally reaping what you sow!! This is so sweet and savory!!

By the way ... this is what MTV should be showing (those ungrateful bastards!!!) ....

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Top 5 Tuesday

Muchos apologies for my lack of posting last week. But I'm back on schedule right now, so let's get to it.

I am guilty of bad taste. Yeah, I know. Who would've thought that the guy who loves Jackass and Blink 182 might have some inkling of bad taste? But my friends, it's true. Currently, I have some guilty pleasures like those I rail against. I have some things I like that I know are killing brain cells, but damnit, I like them nonetheless.

So here we go ...

Top 5 Current Guilty Pleasures


5. "Girlfriend" - Avril Lavigne : I am so ashamed about this one. I take a shower after I listen to this song, but they can't get water hot enough to wash away the shame that I feel after hearing it. It's so damn catchy and the driving rhythm are infectious!! They should make shots for this. Who woulda thunk Avril could make such a song!!

4. "Flathead" - the Fratellis : Another piece of music that is so damn infectious. The reason I am ashamed of this is because it's used for iPod commercials to further their monopoly. But damn, it is a good song.

3. Coke Zero : Remember the Star Trek movie where Kirk expresses his outrage with a prosthetic chestpiece wearing Ricardo Montalban with his immortal scream "KAHN"? That's sorta how I feel about Coke Zero. It has me completely hooked. Ask Deeesguy; he will tell you that I scoffed at those who would have a Diet Coke instead of the real thing. Now Coke Zero has me hooked .... bastards!!!

2. Trashy Talk Shows : Oh Maury .... How I love thee for your "Who da' baby' daddy?" episodes as well as having that huge guy D West come out and yell at trashy people. Have you seen him; this guy is fucking huge!! There are only two things you can say to this guy: "yes" and "sir". Plus, how do you not still love Cheaters? Nothing is funnier than watching trashy people get caught in the act with other people.

1. Craigslist personals : Have you read these? It's as if every one of Springer's guests have decided to further proliferate the world with their ilk by posting on this list. I can understand the spirit of Craigslist and I love the site for some things. Need a roommate? Craigslist. Need someone to adopt your dog because you're moving? Craigslist. Need to find a ghetto ass hoodrat who makes Lil' Kim look downright classy? Craigslist. Need to find a deep and meaningful relationship .... stay the hell away from this site. Just how class is it when tons of chicas post personals and have to clarify "No pics of your dick". See, you feel dirty just reading that.

So now that I have revealed my deepest embarrassments here, let me hear some of your current guilty pleasures!!

Lazy Devil

Sorry about the lack of posts .... I've been a lazy sack of shit this week.

That ... and oh yeah, I was almost carjacked Thursday night. Long story for another day but I'm fine and my hooptie is still parked out front of my apartment.

So I will be better. I promise!!

Now, I'm off to a friends place for some corned beef and cabbage and lots of beer!!

Chelle Gave Me This One ......

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Rick Says: "This Is Sparta, Bitches."

As promised, I told you that I'd give my opinion of the movie 300. I'll quote the late, great Rick James: "This is Sparta, bitches". In other words, the movie was fucking great!!

I don't know if it was because I was way too excited in the first place or if it went beyond my expectations, 300 did not disappoint. I saw this on an IMAX screen and my only complaint was that there was so much going on that I was having to look every which way in order to catch every rich detail.

But Lena Headey lives up to what a queen should be. She kicks ass and is sexy as all hell. The battle scenes rock. I swear, I came out of there ready to get into a fight. This is a beautiful film, I mean literally. The color saturation, the scenery, the ambiance ... it is beautiful.

I was on the official site and watched the video journal on the workouts the actors did. Fuck me ... I was exhausted just watching. Also, I was inspired to push myself a bit harder.

All I can say is go see this movie... NOW!!!

How Geeky Am I????

Damn, sometimes my nerdiness is painful. Tomorrow is a prime example. I am going to see "300" on the opening day. While that may be nerdy in of itself, it gets worse. See, I'm taking a 1/2 day off of work to do it. Pretty damn nerdy, right? Get's worse. I bought advance tickets on Wednesday. Even worse, right? It's gets even more horrible. I am going to see it on an IMAX screen that is 25 miles away.

Hi, my name is Cincy and I'm a geek.

But, I will let you know how the movie is.

P.S. Do you think the ladies might love me when I get my washboard ab like this?

A Book Meme

This is stolen from the lovely and talented Chelle. Oh yeah ... why is it called a "meme"?

Look at the list of books below.* Type "READ" beside the ones you've read.* Type "WANT TO" beside the ones you'd like to read.* Leave blank the ones that you aren't interested in.* Type "AGAIN AND AGAIN" beside the ones you could read again and again.* "Tried" for those books that you've tried to read...again and again. (This oneRob put in!)* "??" For those books you haven't heard of (I'll bold the ones I've read so it's easier for you to gauge my lack of education)

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen) Read
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee) Again and Again
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien) Read
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien) Read
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien) Read
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery) Tried
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon) ??
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry) ??
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving) ??
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden) Tried
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees(Ann-Marie MacDonald) ??
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) Read
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien) Read
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger) Again and Again
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott) Tried
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold) Read
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel) Again and Again
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams) Want to
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte) Tried
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck) Want To
30. Tuesdays with Morrie(Mitch Albom) Read
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand) Tried
34. 1984 (Orwell) Read
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley) Want to
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett) ??
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay) Want To
38. I Know This Much is True(Wally Lamb) ??
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant) ??
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho) Want to
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini) Want To
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom) Want To
45. Bible - Tried
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy) Tried
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas) Tried
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt) Want To
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck) Again and Again
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb) ??
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens) Read
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card) ??
54. Great Expectations (Dickens) Read
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald) Again and Again
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence) ??
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) Tried
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand) Tried
63. War and Peace (Tolsoy) Tried
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis) ??
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez) Again and Again
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller) Want to
69. Les Miserables (Hugo) Tried
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez) Again and Again
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje) Tried
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay) ??
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith) Want To
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence) ??
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White) Read
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley) ??
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck) Read
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen) Tried
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams) Want To
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley) Want To
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields) ??
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago) Want To
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer) ??
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)??
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding) Read
93. The Good Earth(Pearl S. Buck) Want To
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd) Want to
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum) Want To
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton) Read
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce) Tried

**Obviously, I'm not a Harry Potter fan. I know most of you will hate me for that.

Top 5 Tuesday

It hits all of us. You've got your MP3 player going or you're driving with the music loud. Something in the bass or the vocals or the mood hits you just right. You get goosebumps. The hair on the back of your neck stands up. Your throat tightens up a bit. You feels your eyes getting damp. Music is one of the those things that makes my life worth living. So this is what I wanted to give ya' this week ...

Top 5 Songs That Hit Me

5. "Taps" : I always have a soft spot for a few things: animals, kids, and old veterans. Taps reminds me of Ft. Huachuca, Arizona and one of those perfect moments. The sun is setting and we're on the old post part (the part that was built during the days of the Buffalo soldiers and now used by officers; beautiful part of post). The Sierra Vista mountain range is blood red and our drill sergeants are explaining what Taps is all about. I remember watching a couple of G.I.'s pulling down the flag and folding it. Just one of those moments that words can't even begin to describe those feelings.

4. "The Star Spangled Banner" : Another one of those songs that takes me back to my military days. Osan Air Base, South Korea (check out this link, it's great .... even has a bar review and explains the "juicy girl" phenomenon in Korean bars). Fourth of July. Drunk on the lawn in front of the barracks and a seriously kick-ass fireworks show set to this song. Young, dumb, and full of cum .... we're hooting and hollerin', singing the lyrics at the top of our lungs. It's those moments when I felt so proud to serve my country. And no, it wasn't the Coronas talking but they certainly helped.

3. "No Woman, No Cry" - Bob Marley : Another Korea story that I've told before. When things have gotten absolutely shitty: I have just gotten dumped by my fiance; I'm being worked to death with little recognition; and I hate Korea. This song lifted me to that higher place and made me truly realize that "everything gonna be alright".

2. "Saint Behind The Glass" - Los Lobos : Of all the crazy associations I've ever made in my life, this has to be one of the strangest ones. One day I was sick home from work in Dayton. Not having cable, missing my family, and having the flu, I was utterly miserable. I flipped passed PBS and caught "Reading Rainbow" with LeVar Burton. He had an episode about Mexican-American culture. Los Lobos closed the episode but first he interviewed them asking what song they'd play. They played this song and described as a song that embodied not only the Mexican-American experience, but the American experience . For some strange reason, I couldn't agree more and I've got goosebumps even now as I listen.

1. "With Or Without You" - U2 : This is the never-fail, give me goosebumps song. What is it about this song? The methodic bassline? The longing tone of the song? Is it the haunting effect of the drums and vocals? The jangly guitar work of the Edge? It's not so much a love song as a cry of desperation. But damnit if this one doesn't always gives me goosebumps. The best version of this song is in the movie "Rattle and Hum" when u2 plays a concert in God's stadium (for you non-believers, that would be Sun Devil Stadium on the campus of Arizona State University).

Now it's your turn. Tell me what songs always get to you or post it on your blog. You know I love music and you can be assured that when you give me some songs, I will go listen to them.

Why The Spartan Life Won't Work Here

Frank Miller has got me hooked and I know it. I won't often admit that I'm completely drawn in and fascinated with something so over the top and commercial. Yet the more I read about Thermopylae and the Spartans, there more my fascination grows.

The more I've read about Sparta, the more I think those guys were on to something. According to the legends, early on they had problems just like any other society. Greed, corruption, selfishness. The solution was definitely novel but would never work in America though.

Their solution was to rid society of wealth and personal belongings. Everything was pretty much dedicated to the preservation and well being of the state. Sure, this sounds alot like communism but of course, it was with a twist. It was much more of a warrior state.

I've always said that I could never run for office because I would endorse mandatory federal service for every citizen regardless of their position in life. Gone would be rich kids buying their way out of military service (sound familiar, Anti-Christ a.k.a. W). Now, not everyone would be able to serve in the armed forces; but everyone could serve their nation in some way. There are a million other ways for those not physically able to serve: Americorps is one example.

For politicians who were physically able but didn't serve in the military, public shaming would also be compulsory. No more rich cowards sending off the poor and undereducated to fight wars that serve only the interests of the rich. If you want a war, you will lead the way. I'm sick of cowards running this country.

Personal wealth? Gone. If no one owns wealth, no one will truly covet what others have. Everyone would chip in to help the betterment of society or face the ostracism of all. Crime would be punished severely and swiftly.

Yeah, like I said, it would never work here. Again, I can never run for office.