Cotton Panties and Last Night's Meatloaf

Our always effervescent Sonisa saw one of my fave movies of all time this past week or so and had a completely different opinion about it than I did. She finally caught "High Fidelity" and thought about it in different terms. I'm wondering if the female audience sees this movie in a different light than the male audience.

Let me tell you all what I got out of this movie: Our protagnist, Rob Gordon, is flawed like every single guy worth a damn in this world. Any guy who seems too perfect is hiding something or isn't real and therefore isn't who you want to be with. He has his list of transgressions between him and his girlfriend. Now when they break up, she reveals them to a mutual friend and this serves as fodder for putting him as an outcast. Now as a rule, you shouldn't air your dirty laundry to mutual friends. This only serves to alienate one of the ex's.

I guess the point Sonrisa seemed to make in her reply is that she saw the movie as being about settling for someone and I would really love to hear what other females who've seen High Fidelily thought about it.

So let me posit this question: Is getting married or commitment really about settling? I guess in a way it can be seen as this. I think compromise might be a better word for it. I talked about this with what you might term as an ex-girlfriend (only she was still trying to get her ex back while crashing with me every night despite my half-hearted protests that I would not let myself be used).

I feel that as we get older, what we want changes. I mean, let's face it, we all want Salma Hayek or Brad Pitt. But as you get older and a little more experienced, you begin to realize that as good looking as that person is, there is another person at that moment who is absolutely fed up with that person's shit. That fantasy person is leaving his boxers on the floor or not making the bed in the morning which annoys the fucking shit out of their significant other. In other words, fantasy is just that .... fantasy. It isn't real. No matter how you slice it up or what you call it (i.e. settling or compromise), what we want in life changes as we mature and as we ourselves change.

Just like that commercial a few years ago, no one said they wanted to move into middle management as a kid. BUT your goals do change. Hell, when I was a kid, I wanted to play quarterback for the Steelers and lead them to the infamous "One For The Thumb". Now, I'm old enough to realize there isn't much call for a short, tubby Hispanic QB who can only throw accurately for about 20 yards and runs a 7.0 in the 40. So my goals changed with reality; I found another way to be involved with the sport I loved when I coached my little brother's football team.

Even now my goals have changed; I'll never be the next Evan Dando but I can learn some cover tunes with my guitar. And I'll be happy with that.

So back to Rob Gordon. He realizes that the fantasy girls are just that. They don't have problems just yet because at first their little problems are just that, little. But in time, it's that small stone in your shoe that wears you down on the long journey, not the hill itself. AND that the fantasy will wear off. I had a friend who once told me she wanted to find a guy with whom everyday would be special and I laughed because we all know not every day will be special. Sometimes you're going to have those days when you come home and all there is on the table is last night's meatloaf and the bills, not the wine, roses, and caviar you fantasized about.

And hence the underwear analogy I love so well. It's a comfort when you have the old underwear hanging in the bathroom. It's not romantic but it's comforting. Love isn't always about romance; love is really at some level about comfort most of the time. You're comforted knowing that this person does hang her cotton panties in the bathroom. You're comforted knowing that she'll always put a bit too much pepper in the mashed potatoes. You're comforted knowing that she'll toss and turn 10 times until she finds the perfect position before falling alseep. You're comforted knowing that she still loves you when you've had too many drinks and made an ass of yourself when you nearly get into a fight with a professional athlete (true story here folks ... but no g/f at the time). You're comforted knowing that she'll sing off key in the car or that she'll always be cold when you're burning up. Now, aren't all of these things worth the occassional downside? I'd say not just yes, but a resounding "Fuck yeah!!!!"

This is what I think High Fidelity was about. Realizing that comfort and love was always there. Romance isn't always some grand gesture like a trip to Paris (which is always nice). Rather, it's a mix CD you've made with songs that your significant other likes.

Interview Whore

Some of you may actually begin to wonder why I haven't been updating more. Well, it's actually because I have been interviewing like crazy these days. I have had like 6 interviews in the past 2 weeks. Of course, no one is giving me a job just yet ... but at least I am interviewing. It means that some people are seeing some value in me.

I do hate the interview process however. I feel like one of those prostitutes in Amsterdam. I kinda stand there being evaluated as to whether or not this prospective John feels like giving me the time of day. You stand there in your best suit, tell them what you think they want to hear, and then you pray that you're the one. Hopefully I won't be going through this much longer.

I've noticed that most of the job interviews I've went on with high profile employers are much more casual than mid-level or low profile clients. The high profile guys are desparately trying to portray themselves as just normal Joes. Yeah ... right ... normal fucking Joes whose Jag's grill costs more than my old Jeep. Normal Joes who drop a couple of hundred bucks every weekend to go to dinner while I'm stoked that Sonic is open past 9 PM.

I've even had a few of these high profile employers call me back to say I'm still in the job hunt only to never hear back or never receive return phone calls. They're just a bunch of teases ... bastards!!! Oh well, I'll just keep interviewing and keep going on interviews. There is always work to be had at Starbucks ... or I'd probably be overlyqualifed with my luck!!!

How Scooby Got That Ass

As a kid, I loved cartoons. Every problem that came up was solved in under a half hour with a few commercials. Everything was simplified in cartoons. When Scooby and Shag got into trouble, the villains were always a step behind. And especially when it came to love .... aahh yes, love. Well, did it get any simpler than that? The girls were always unabashedly flirting with shy guys. There was always the "wolf" or slick character trying to steal the woman away, but in the end, the good guy got the good girl who stuck by her man through thick and thin.

Now, I'm older (I refuse to say an adult because it's evident my life lends no credence to this claim) and I still love cartoons. BUT life doesn't conform to cartoons, although it should! Villains should always get their just deserts but let's face it ... life isn't fair or instructive or easy to follow.

You see, dating ML has not only destroyed my self confidence, it impaired any senses I had ever developed in detecting interest from the opposite sex. In a cartoon, I could shy and the female lead would keep the pressure on me 'til I got the hint. Not so in real life. On more than one occassion this past week in hell .... errr, I mean my part-time job, I have been talking to a cute female customer. All seems to be going well; they seem to enjoy chatting with me; and there is even some innocent flirting. There is even that awkward point where you're talking with someone and you're both smiling like idiots and there seems to be that "either ask her out or shut up" sentiment.

So I've decided to put together a few pointers for any female readers that make it easy for us men to know you're flirting with us and not merely being nice to the poor schlep who just rang your Ben & Jerry's .....

1. Drop the fact that you've got a boyfriend or husband or if you're not interested, make up a boyfriend: Nothing kills a nice guy's hope quicker than dropping the fact that there is a guy who is already miserable with your incessant criticisms. Of course, there are always the guys who refuse to give up, no matter what. These guys are like the herpes of the dating world: you might be able to get rid of them for a while, but you'll never really get rid of them.

2. Flirt back: Remember, this guy is putting himself out there and you're either going to drop him like a shit-filled diaper or you're going to give the old boy a chance. Flirt back with him as well; you're letting him know it's okay for him to keep doing what he is doing ... unless he is already dropping his pants and shopping for condoms.

3. Linger around a bit: If you're interested, keep talking to a guy. He'll finally work up the courage to ask for your number. If he asks right away, he's taking the shotgun approach: throw out as many shots as you can and hopefully one of 'em will hit. If a guy really is interested in you, he'll be a bit more careful so as not to screw it up.

4. Do something physical to give him a clue: I know that anytime a woman touches you first, it is her way of letting you know she is interested. Of course, I'm not talking about if you brush by him on the way to take a dump in a public restroom. Touch him, put your hand on his shoulder, bump into him in a flirty way .... hell, even better, pull out a tit and let him suckle. I know I'd appreciate the latter method.

5. Give us a window of opportunity: Trust me, if we're interested in you, we're looking for any excuse to get your digits. The best thing is start talking about something you want to do but haven't had a chance to do because either you have no one to go with or you're new to town. Unless the guy is as clueless as yours truly, he'll get the hint. I pretty much have to have a girl say "Hey moron, give me your phone number because I'd like to start a relationship with you."

As per my usual posts, please feel free to add some additional flirting methods. I need one of you to write a flirting guide for men from the woman's perspective.

A Man's Man

One of the perks of my shitty job at the gift shop (if you can actually call it a perk) is that I spend the vast majority of my time alone ..... and when the hotel is empty, it is painfully slow. I was perusing some magazines and came across an article in Men's Health.

I'm not one of those guys usually up for reading a magazine that always has some male actor 1/2 way in the buff flexing his $200 an hour personal trainer induced pecs. But it was either this or Cosmopolitan with Hilary Duff on the cover (how unsexy is that?). Anyways, this issue had the requisite male celeb on the cover. This time it was Jason Statham who I have to say is one cool mofo though.

Anyways, there was an article on Ernest Hemingway in it. What a tragic and amazing person. He was definitely a larger than life character, the sort of man who had monumental flaws and lived life with a zeal and gusto few of us have the nerve to even imagine.

He was an ambulance driver during the First World War, a reporter during the Spanish Civil War, and of course, a great novelist. He ran with bulls in Spain. He was an avid fisherman and hunter who fed his family game like bear. He moved to Paris and to Key West to write. He hunted big game in Africa and deep see fishing in the Florida Keys.

He had his problems as well, which were just as enormous as his life. He suffered from depression and alcoholism and often shirked what some saw as his responsibilities. For instance, some felt he should've been covering the war in Europe but instead loaded up a boat with a few bombs, patrolled the Keys hoping to get close enough to a German U-Boat to drop a bomb down the hatch of it. Instead, he only got drunk and had some great fishing stories. He did cover the war and even "liberated" his favorite bar in Paris.

But he was a man's man, and I don't mean in the sense that he had several wives. No, I mean he was what men aspire to in that sort of bravado way we retreat to when we've had our wings clipped be it due to work or family or economics. He was the man we aspire to be. He was larger than life. This article, in some way, seemed to be a challenge to men everywhere to do those things that you really want to.

Isn't it amazing how we can go through our life just knowing the name of someone but not understanding their life story? I wonder who the female equivalent of Papa Doc is? Frida Kahlo? O'Keefe? I'm just rambling on again as usual.

Some Thoughts On My Racist Self

This post is being written on Thursday even though its probably dated for Wednesday. I hate how Blogspot no longer lets you change the dates on your posts because it'd be more appropriate here. Anyways .... don't ask why, but for some reason known only to laziness and the dead batteries in the remote control, I happened to catch Oprah. Now, normally, I'm not a fan of Ms. Winfrey. There is nothing more horrible than watching her try to prattle on like she is one of us. Yeah, I'd lose 80 pounds if I had a personal trainer, a personal chef, and a personal dietician ... but since most of us don't, those who watch her show are forced to watch her act as if her 100's of millions don't exist and she is Oprah, the next door neighbor.

Her topic was the next show coming up called Trading Races. I have to admit; I'm excited about this show. How perfect is this? People actually trading races to get a taste of what the "other guy" feels everyday. The editors of this episode did a superb job of whetting my appetite since the clips looked explosive and controversial.

I have always wondered if racism is so black and white (no pun intended). What I mean, is it possible for anyone to be racist regardless of one's race? Is it racist for black comedians to openly mimic white people? Or is it justified given the past treatment of blacks? I think about that given that it certainly couldn't go both ways i.e. a white comedian couldn't mimic blacks without a huge backlash. I have to admit, I'm uncomfortable in either situation. Someone once made the argument that it is impossible for

I do admit I feel like such a Klansmen when I drive through an unsavory part of town and double check to make sure my doors are locked. But then again, I also keep an eye open if I come upon a group of white teens walking at night since you never know if I might make the news as some kids decide they wanted to make a bean dip! See, I'm even referring to myself in a racist way!!

But I have been on the opposite side. I dated a girl in high school whose father told me his daughter didn't date "dirty Mexicans" when I called her one night. Back in Arizona, I was walking around around dinner time in downtown Tempe. An older and probably affluent white lady saw me walking towards her and her husband. She moved her purse to side opposite me and then double wrapped the strap around her arm. I was in shock considering I'm wearing an Arizona State t-shirt and a buzzcut looking like I'm in ROTC and she had just passed thuggish white teens trying their best to look like Paul Wall or Eminem.

I guess I'm always fascinated with the dynamics of racism. I hope that in 10 years or so, my nephews won't even blink to see a black & white couple. I am hopeful and I believe that this is already happening, but there will always be pockets of resistance. I was behind a truck the other day that had a volunteer firefighter sticker in the back window next to a "It's a White Thing. You Wouldn't Understand" sticker. I was so disappointed that a public servant would brag on one hand about a most commendable achievement and then destroy that same image at the same instant.

Is it racism when Muslims are treated in an oppressive manner or is simple discrimination? It's strange, but racism seems to be evolving. It's no longer just a black & white thing, it's an all out assault. In L.A. prisons, there are race riots between Mexican Americans and Blacks. There is a backlash against Asians in several communities.

I'm just sort of babbling at this point. I guess I believe racism can go both ways. I am capable of racism just like any member of a minority or a majority. Any thoughts to go along with my rambling?

Where Is My Dulcinea??

Sonnet LXXXI

And now you're mine. Rest with your dream in my dream.

Love and pain and work should all sleep, now.

The night turns on its invisible wheels,

and you are pure beside me as a sleeping amber.

No one else, Love, will sleep in my dreams. You will go,

we will go together, over the waters of time.

No one else will travel through the shadows with me,

only you, evergreen, ever sun, ever moon.

Your hands have already opened their delicate fists

and let their soft drifting signs drop away;

your eyes closed like two gray wings, and I move

after, following the folding water you carry, that carries

me away. The night, the world, the wind spin out their destiny.

Without you, I am your dream, only that, and that is all.

-Pablo Neruda

It's another Valentine's Day and yes, like many of you, I'm alone. I look back at my relationship with ML and I realized that towards the end, I wasn't inspired.

If I was inspired, I would've just hopped in my Jeep and drove down unannounced to fix things. I would've sent letters for no reason other than to say "I love you. I would've tried to hold back the tide. Instead, I didn't want to get wet anymore.

Like all of you, I want to be inspired to do crazy things for love. I want to call for no reason other than to hear her voice. I want to write letters that ramble aimlessly professing my undying love. I think I may want the dream.

But even in reality, there is something great. I know I'm going to slaughter this thought, but in the move "High Fidelity" there is a point where my alter ego Rob Gordon is talking about fantasy and reality of being with someone. He mentions to his girlfriend about how when you first meet someone, there is the fantasy of lingerie. Yet his girlfriend has those worn cotton panties hanging in the bathroom. The fantasy isn't real and those cotton panties are, in their own way, real and comforting. I know it's a terrible analogy, but everytime I see the movie, I soooooooo understand what he is saying.

And speaking of underwear, only Lindsay say she'd wear the "Liberal" thong (of course, I had to prompt the response ... lol). Anyways, I would say Happy Valentines Day but let's face it, most people hate it.

Moments Of Clarity And College Chicas

I know I've blogged about this before but it sorta happened again to me on Saturday. The first time it happened, I was on a late night jog in South Korea during my time in the Army.

I had a moment of clarity. A moment when all the worries in life just melted away into the background and a groundswell of positivity overcame me. Those moments are rare and when they hit, you certainly don't forget. It's those moments that it seems like the stars & planets are aligned, the rhythm of the world is in sync, and for just that moment, you know that matter what happens, everything will be okay.

For reasons beyond me, there is a certain song that just elicits this feeling in me. Bob Marley's "No Woman No Cry" has had this effect on me twice now.

The first time I was in South Korea on a late night job. My fiance and I had ended our relationship (I got a "Dear John" phone call on Valentine's Day) and I was feeling pretty shitty. So on my job, I had a mix tape (yeah, that's how long ago this was ... mixed tapes ... I had that yellow Sony sports Walkman) and I was jogging. Maybe the endorphins kicked in as I crested that small hill but when Bob was in harmony with his female backup singers ..
"Everything gone be alright now
Everything gone be alright..."
The moment hit perfectly. My life came into focus. In that instant, I knew I'd be okay. I knew I'd love again. I knew I could make it through what I was going through. I knew that I wasn't past what I was going through, but I would be alright.

Saturday, it happened again. I was at one of those low ebbs at my shitty hellish job. There I am ringing up fucking Snickers bars and overpriced water to hotel guest who serve no purpose in this life. I had our busted up clock radio going when "No Woman No Cry" hit the airwaves. I was only 1/2 paying attention when that familiar chorus hit. Again, I knew that what I was going through was temporary. I knew that someday I would get past this. I knew that I could get through anything. This and what happened next was what I needed to rescue me from the doldrums.

I got hit on ... or at least I think I got hit on. A national convention for sports medicine students was meeting at the hotel where my shit shop is located. So the place is crawling with college students. One girl, maybe about 21, comes in first time. She was by herself and asked about something and I talked to her about 3 or 4 minutes. She leaves and comes back with her friend. They buy a couple of things and then she asks my name. I tell her and she repeats it like 2 or 3 times; I assuming this was so that she could remember my name. I ring her up and she then comments that I should go have a drink with her and her friends. I am floored. I just smile and mention that the shop doesn't close 'til 10, but she keeps on saying to just close it up and have a margarita with them. Well, I just assumed she was flirting ... but she came back later on dressed to the nines since they were all going out on the town and started talking to me again about going out for margaritas. So I am assuming she was flirting. It was pretty cool ... an old man getting flirted with by a 21 y.o..

So if you've got a moment of clarity to share or want to comment on whether I was being flirted with or not, leave your comments por favor!

Oh yes, our lovely NML has a very interesting pic with the gentleman pictured above. Go to her archives and you'll be blown away. I've begged her to tell her mom to thank Rita Marley for keeping Bob's music and memory alive.

PS. Here is the link to NML's pic. I'm so jealous of her .. but I love her to death!!

The "L" Word ... And Not Lesbian

From "The West Wing" ... the infamous debate:

VINICK
No. Of course you didn’t say it. You’re not an unthinking liberal. Are you?

The audience laughs and applauds.

SANTOS
I know you like to use that word ‘liberal’ as if it were a crime.

VINICK
No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have used that word. I know Democrats think liberal is a bad word. So bad you had to change it. What do you call yourselves now, progressives? Is that it?

SANTOS
It’s true. Republicans have tried to turn liberal into a bad word. Well, liberals ended slavery in this country.

VINICK
A Republican President ended slavery.

SANTOS
Yes, a liberal Republican, Senator. What happened to them? They got run out of your party. What did liberals do that was so offensive to the liberal party? I’ll tell you what they did. Liberals got women the right to vote. Liberals got African-Americans the right to vote. Liberals created Social Security and lifted millions of elderly people out of poverty. Liberals ended segregation. Liberals passed the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act. Liberals created Medicare. Liberals passed the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act. What did Conservatives do? They opposed them on every one of those things – every one. So when you try to hurl that label at my feet, ‘Liberal,’ as if it were something to be ashamed of, something dirty, something to run away from, it won’t work, Senator, because I will pick up that label and I will wear it as a badge of honor.

Liberal. The way some people say it, it could be equated to "Communist" before the fall of the Soviet Union. The problem with the word liberal is that myself and anyone who considers themself a liberal has let the word become a four-letter word. You see, we didn't stand and proclaim proudly that "Yes, I am a liberal".

Instead, we've taken a back seat to corporate interests and right wing blowhards. These asswipes have done one thing that is so counterintuitive to a democracy, it's amazing that Americans haven't woken up to the reality: They've made questioning the goverment tantamount to being unpatriotic or un-American.

The irony is that these fucks don't even realize how far away from Democracy they've strayed. These fucks will equate compliance with patriotism. They will equate exercising the very rights guaranteed by the Bill of Rights with anti-Americanism. Again, our fault; we let them do this. We didn't think anyone would take it seriously. We figured the American people would be smart enough to see through the smokescreen .... we gave the people too much credit. We didn't press the issue when it came up. Only now that Bush has all but said that your Constitutional rights don't mean shit to him does the public now start to raise hell.

It's time people. It's time to take back the word liberal. It's time to start wearing that tag and wearing it proudly. I'll tell you what liberal means and what it doesn't mean:

Liberal doesn't mean more handouts and coddling those who don't want to work. It means giving people temporary assistance as welfare was intended to be ... a temporary fix for those who are able to work. As Obama said in his now famous speech "...the people I meet in small towns and big cities and diners and office parks, they don't expect government to solves all of their problems. They know they have to work hard to get a head. And they want to."

Liberal doesn't mean not supporting our troops in time of war. It means bringing home our boys fighting a war that is reminiscent of Vietnam. The fucking asshole in the White House forgot you can't win the hearts and minds of a people at the end of a rifle. If you want to support the troops, quit fucking buying those shitty yellow ribbons at Wal-Mart which are made in China, you fucking simpleton. If you really want to support the troops, quit hauling around in your monster SUV and use that extra gas money to send the troops things they need like flak jackets because that jackfuck you elected didn't seem to think those sorts of things were important in a war.

Liberal doesn't mean we're agains God and religion. What a liberal knows is that once you allow the Ten Commandments to go up in a public building, you also will have to allow a Torah, a Koran, the teachings of the Buddha and Confucious, and it goes on and on. We know that prayer in schools is not the answer because what happens to the child who isn't Christian? What about his rights? His parents pay taxes just like every Evangelical fuck who screams that his rights are being trampled.

Liberal doesn't mean we're against big business. Liberals remember all too well what the GOP has forgotten. When big business and government get into bed together, you're creating a situation as we had at the turn of the century where Teddy Roosevelt, a fucking Republican for God's sake, had to bust up trusts that were getting too powerful.

Liberal doesn't mean a weaker America. We know that when we aren't willing to extend the protections of our system of justice to all, whether they deserve it or not, we are showing the world that even we don't believe in our system of justice. And you know I certainly believe in it.

Liberal doesn't mean we're afraid of debate as Fox Propaganda and Rush Limbaugh would have you believe. We just know that because you yell louder, it doesn't mean that you're correct. And we'll argue with facts, not with lies and assumptions. Even notice Al Franken doesn't get invited to The O'Lying Factor or on Rush's show or even on Fox News anymore?

Liberal doesn't mean we're against the family. We recognize that people are different and that a family isn't just a mom and dad. As long as a child is loved and cared for, who can really be against that?

Liberal doesn't mean we support every extreme environmental cause. We are smart enough to realize that global warming is real and that we need to preserve our natural resources. Just because there is an endangered species that lives in a limited area, we don't know the long term affects of its extinction.

So if you've got your own ideas of what it means to be a liberal, comment away.

I'm Shallow

The question I pose to you all is this: Why do you stay in a relationship that you know is ultimately bad for you? I have been pondering this for days now, especially since I've had assloads of time at the giftshop between boredom and helping middle-aged man with his tucked in polo decide if he wants a bag of chips or a copy of Hustler to take back to his room. I've actually taken up my journal again and I've discovered that when you don't actually physically write much, your hand begins to hurt like hell after a few minutes.

Back to the topic, I've examined this over and over in my mind. A couple of distinct possibilities come up with one being quite shallow and simplistic. I'll get the ugly one over with: The Girl was attractive, hot, sexy ... whatever words you want to insert. Was she as difficult as trying to describe calculus to one of the Bush twins? Even more so. But let's face it; when you date someone attractive, it's a bit harder to end it. You rationalize a bit more, you tend to put up with shit a bit more. It's horrible, but that did play a part.

The second reason is a bit more selfish in a sense. The Girl and her son showed me how great having a family could be. She and her son had their little routines and they simply transitioned me into these things. For instance, every Friday is movie and dinner night for the two of them. They hit Blockbuster for 2 movies (one for him and one for her for later). Then they either order pizza or Chinese and get snacks for the night. Then they get settled in front of the TV by setting out sleeping bags, comforters, pillows and they watch their movies, eat dinner, snack, and fall asleep right there later. I was completely taken in by this. On top of this were the everyday things you do as a family like going to the grocery store, her son's school presentations, and so on. This really is the biggest reason why it was very hard to just end things.

As I begin the next stage of my life, I've decided I need to make a list of things I am going to do so that I can have some very definite set goals to strive for. So without further babbling, I give you my quick list of immediate goals:

1. Get a good job: No more of these waiting hand and foot on some businessguy who thinks that the world revolves around his balding ass. Charging Cornnuts and a copy of Shaved Snits on your corporate card doesn't make you some sort of God ... it makes you horny and your breath reeks something fierce.

2. Hit Ireland in May: My friend is getting married in Ireland in May. I've talked already about this but I certainly plan on being lit at a wedding and hitting on bridesmaids. I will certainly be the darkest person there so maybe some drunk guest might let me slip my hand up that lime green creation she'll only wear once. Plus, I'd be so drunk at that point that I probably wouldn't notice if she had a better 5 o'clock shadow than Collin Farrel.

3. Do a grand tour of the West: This is a must within the next year. I need to go see my friends back in Phoenix and take a hike up A-Mountain (as in the pic). Plus a quick trip to Vegas so I can hit every sleazy casino and dive with YNH. And naturally, a quick trip to New Mexico will be in order. I figure if I would take the bar there, I should make a trip out there sometime. Plus, I would sell my grandmother to the gypsies right now for some good Mexican food, so this tour would be well timed for her safety. Maybe I'll make a stop one night in Austin if there is anyone cool to visit there (J/K).

4. Take the bar: This is a goal for the next year or two. Taking the bar is no cheap proposition; roughly about $800 for the New Mexico bar, plus with all of the other little things, it would easily come to over a grand. Then there is the matter of taking your prep course, which also would set you back about $1400. I might have to start stripping ... only this time for money. I could go back to my old job as the "Before" model in those ads for diet pills.

5. Get into shape: I've been out of the gym for about 2 months now. It's time to get serious again. Luckily, when I bust my ass, I drop weight as quickly as an evangelical drops off that hooker he picked up during one of his trips for "saving souls".

6. Make more friends here: I feel pretty good about this one. I can make friends pretty easily once I start working someplace or start getting out. I did sign up for an organization that I think we could all benefit from called Drinking Liberally. It looks like a group of people that get together to discuss politics (if you think Bush is what America needs, this group sooooooo isn't for you) and get drunk. Plus, Atlanta has an assload of great concerts and I don't want to be that creepy guy at a show by himself hanging out at the bar trying to pick up high school girls ... but then again, when I hit a show like Jimmy Eat World with Deeesguy, there were only about 20 of us that could drink legally at the show besides the band.

7 Piss off more of the Bush crowd: I plan to get involved in politics in some way shape or form. Maybe I'll just do something small like this idea I picked up off of the Cincinnati Drinking Liberally blog. Or maybe I'll just go all out and become the liberal Karl Rove, except I'll spread the truth. ML would hate me for doing this ... but then again, it's not her concern anymore. I can always buy stuff from here. Or I'll wear this. This is going on my new car. My dreamgirl would wear this and I'd love her for it!!

8. Get a new car: Maybe not a new car, but I do like trucks or SUV's. Yeah, I know ... it's pretty hypocritical for me being the liberal I am to drive a truck or SUV. How I see it is that I'll actually use my truck or SUV for what it is intended. I take my Jeep out camping or to the mountains, especially when I live out west. I won't be one of these jackfucks driving an Expedition that hasn't so much as passed by a dirt road much less been on one.

9 Get Deeesguy to start a blog: Trust me on this one, folks. He'll comment now and then but Deeesguy is a funny guy. I think if we all put the pressure on him, he might cave in and start writing. So this is sort of a write in campaign.

So these are some immediate goals. Sure they're self centered and sorta shallow, but right now after ML, I believe I need to focus on me. So whadda ya think?

26 Years And It Finally Happened ...

One for the thumb. I couldn't believe it. I was sitting there biting my nails. I couldn't eat. I was irritable. I was a fucking train wreck. They just couldn't lose, could they? I watched the Seahawks move the ball with ease the first half. The whole time I'm screaming that the secondary was playing too soft. I was screaming to blitz the QB. But somehow through it all, my boys hung on. It seemed like a done deal with the Steelers at the 6 until Big Ben threw the pick. Then they scored but in the end, a flea flicker did them in.

I jumped about 4 feet up in the air (o.k., I'm not quite that athletic yet .. it was more like I jumped 10 inches in the air) with the last gasp of the Seahawks on 4th down with .03 seconds left. It was like this weight being lifted off of my shoulders.

Mine is definitely a Steelers family. I remember watching the Steelers play the Rams in Super Bowl XIV back in 1980. My sister and I reminisced after the game tonight and how we were watching that game with the family back in New Mexico. My mom always made a big deal about the game, whether it was the Steelers or not. She always made everything and then some for all of us. Burger, brats, dogs, fajitas, chips, homemade salsa and guacamole. It was all there.

It's not secret to ML or anyone who really knows me that my old man and I dont' get along too well. We are like oil and water. In fact, I haven't actually talked to him for a little over a year now. He doesn't call me nor do I call him. Ever since my parent's divorce, he's been bitter. His new wife is a complete cunt (Sorry, but this word describes her completely). When my brother was at the Univ. of New Mexico (only a 20 min. drive from my old man's house), his new wife would pitch a fit if my brother came down to do laundry or asked for a few bucks. And he listened to her, so I've always resented my old man for treating my siblings like shit these past few years. But the Steelers were always something my old man and I could talk about. If not, at least the Steelers are world champs once again and despite all that is going on lately, something good happened for me.

Easy Entry ... Not That Kind!!!!

I stole this from Joel and now I'm going to answer these life altering questions for all of you. Actually, most of this is probably stuff you already know.

Three books I can read over and over:
- Any book of Pablo Neruda's poetry
- "Love In The Time of Cholera" - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
- "To Kill a Mockingbird" - Harper Lee

Three places I've lived:
- Cincinnati, OH
- Phoenix/Tempe, AZ
- Albuquerque, NM


Three TV shows I love:
- George Lopez Show (hey, I gotta support my peeps)
- Any of those TLC or Discovery channel shows dealing with historical figures (I know .. I can hear the snickers already)
- Sleazy daytime TV (Give me Springer, Maury, Divorce Court, or Judge Mathis and I'm good to go!!)

Three highly regarded and recommended TV shows that I've never watched a single minute of:
- The West Wing (There are just too many dramas on TV now)
- 24 (I'm just tired of the hype and the fact its already in syndication)
- American Idol (This show represents everything that is wrong with music today ... you mean there is actually controversy over who wins? I say who gives a fuck! The winner will be touring at county fairs in a couple of years anyways)

Three places I've vacationed:
- Mexico
- Ireland
- L.A.

Three of my favorite dishes:
- My own New Mexico green chile,cheese & chicken enchiladas
- My mom's fajitas
- Any sort of Texas style BBQ

Three sites I visit daily:(Non-blogs)
- CNN
- Monster.com (pathetic, right?)
- EPSN

Three places I would rather be right now:
- London (although I've never been, I'm sure I would love it)
- Ireland (I could use their slower pace of life thing; it would be great)
- In my bed

Now if you're inclined to respond in kind, please do! If not, don't worry about my feelings or anything like that ... no really, I'll be fine. I'll be okay.

X-Men And The Aliens

Little did I know that Sundy as I started my shift, I would be visited by one of my favorite comic book characters. Wolverine came in ... or a reasonable facsimile. Squat and powerful, I could easily see this female version easily shredding through a bag of Funions as easily as a hot knife through butter. Watching her rummage through her fake Louis Vitton bag, I witnessed an exercise in futility. At least Wolverine's claws were retractable, which would be an assett given the task at hand. Despite her probable superhuman strength she could muster vs. a Whopper Value Meal, I think I'll stick to the X-Men for inspiration.

Now, Time magazine has a cover story about immigration. This is such a touchy subject for Americans right now. Most Americans feel immigration is a serious problem and I agree but for different reasons than the alarmists. I feel the problem is that many of these aliens probably get a raw deal with working with no benefits, especially when they're working for a huge corporation like Tyson or a poultry farm. The alarmists tend to argue that the immigrants are taking jobs away from Americans. I think they're taking jobs no one wants to do. How many Americans are lining up to shovel shit out of chicken coops or remove the innards of cattle in a rendering plant? Probably not too many.

It's a fundamentally easy issue: if companies would'nt hire illegals, then they wouldn't come in such numbers. But let's be honest, we see them working fast food, construction, landscaping, and in the fields. Trust me, I'm frustrated when I have a Jurist Doctorate unable to find work and pulling up next to me is some guy from Chihuahua with a sweet $20,000 F-150. BUT I know that when I score my next job, I'll have benefits like insurance. AND he is probably doing work that I honestly would never consider doing. This guy in next to me at the light won't collect Social Security that he has paid into (and if he hasn't, then his employer is paying him under the table and that is illegal and a main reason why so many come here in the first place ... employment that bypasses the legal process).

Anti-immigrationists say that illegals are a drain on public services. They'll often cite the fact that illegals will use emergency rooms because they don't have health insurance and can't be refused treatment (not necessarily true but we'll assume it to be true). Immigration proponents will say that illegals pay way more into the government services than they will ever collect (again, not necessarily true since many of these illegals get paid in cash with no taxes being taken out). As with most things, the truth lies somewhere in between.

My mother is an immigrant. She emigrated with my grandparents when she was only 3. Now before any right wingers decide to call Nazi security ... err, um .. Homeland Security, my grandparents emigrated legally. They luckily learned to speak English because of folks at their Catholic parish who took the time to work with them. Which is another point: I think that if you intend to reside in a place for more than a vacation, you should learn enough of the language to interact. The problem is that there aren't many public services that assist these folks. I volunteered at a literacy project back in Ohio which had immigrants who wanted to learn English. The list of immigrants waiting for a tutor was staggering. Easily over 200 and waiting for over a year. They were so anxious to learn, so anxious to fit into American society, so anxious to become American in some sense. We definitely need more programs for these people. In the interim, we should provide ballots, public documents in every possible language. WHY? Because the right to vote is so key, so fundamental to a democracy, that a citizen should be able to make an informed decision and if they need to read a ballot in their native language to be informed, so be it.

This is truly America's strength: It's diversity. We're not all of the same mindset. We're all different. During law school, Bono came by to talk about debt relief in Africa. He made a comment about what America is that will forever be with me. He said "America is an idea." He is so right. It is an idea, a belief that we will take people from every corner in the world and give them the opportunity to succeed. I'm not saying to assimilate so much so that you give up your culture and ethnic identity. Please don't!! What is more American than a neighborhood where you'll see a Thai restaurant next to a Chinese grocer across the street from an Italian deli where the Irish pub owner eats lunch with his Mexican friend?? Now that is truly what America is about.