The British Are Coming

We've all been forced to watch English movies or English television shows that weren't quite funny. I was never a fan of Monty Python (I can hear the hissing already from some of you). I found Merchant Ivory films incredibly slow and cumbersome and I hated Remains Of The Day. I never found some of those English comedies very funny that seem to be on PBS all hours of the day. I guess I just never found English comedy .... well, I didn't find it very funny (with the exception of The Young Ones and Shaun Of The Dead which absolutely rocked!!!).

Maybe my humor is too low brow. Maybe I need something like Jackass where guys sit in their tidy whities and throw a dog's rawhide bone at one another's sacks. I just couldn't picture the English getting into this sort of thing.

How wrong I was!! The BBC has now created a show that caters to my simple minded personality. It's called Ed vs. Spencer and it is one of the most brilliant concepts ever!

This show is a guy's show. It's about 2 guys who pretty do anything to cockblock one another. It's a show about those type of best friends where one guy gets drunk and his best friend writes all over his forehead with a Sharpie things like 666, I Eat Cock, and so on. So far, it's been hilarious. One of the two guys, Ed, is the typical Spicoli type but much more devious. In one episode, they have to date 3 women and see whom the ladies will like better. Ed switches one of the girls with a friend of his and tells her to act completely bored and annoyed with Spencer. Ed also takes one of the women, an 86 year old, to a strip club. How great is that? To give you an idea of what they are doing, here is a listing of upcoming shows:

March 23rd - Who Can Make Himself the Sickest?
March 30th- Who Can Stay Handcuffed the Longest?
April 6th - Who's the Most Attractive to Women?
April 13th - Who Can Survive in the Woods the Longest?
April 20th - Who Can Make the Best Porn?
April 27th - Who Is the Hardest?
May 4th - Who Do Kids Like More?
May 11th - Who Can Put On the Most Weight?
May 18th - Who Can Make Himself More Famous?
May 25th - Who Can Make the Most Money in Three Days

If this is the new wave of UK comedy, then I am definitely moving to the UK so that I can steal Kate Winslet or Kate Beckinsale away from their current beaus, grab some fish & chips, and watch Ed try to fuck over Spencer in any way possible.

The Devil Works In Mysterious Ways

I had a crazy Saturday. I had to run out and buy some new shirts and ties. Why you might ask? You guessed it ... someone is going to pay me for my perceived talents. Trust me, I'm as shocked as you are.

The nice thing is that is that I'll be making more money than I did at my last job and I believe people will actually appreciate the work that I do. That being said, I also know that the pressure will be on to deliver an actual product and not simply moan as questions come rolling in. No, this is a honest to goodness job where I will have to use my mind other than to decide where I'm going to eat lunch that day. Plus, it's a government job so I will have all my benefits starting on day one.

Now, this doesn't mean that yours truly will not tend to his blog. Quite the contrary; I think that this position will offer me a whole new plethera of stories. I'm sure I will find crazy things in whatever I do ... and in what I don't do. Hopefully, I'll be as cool as this guy in the picture.

Praying For Short Pudgy Guys Playing Football

Dcnats is responsible for this post! He has a weekly tradition on his blog called Film Vault Tuesday. Every Tuesday, he reviews an old movie that he digs and gives you the rundown. He's a huge baseball fan, just as I'm a huge football fan. I went to Catholic school pretty much from Kindergarten through 6th grade (I would've went further but my hometown didn't have a Catholic Jr. High or Catholic High School). So being Catholic and a huge football fan means one thing and one movie ... but we'll get to that in a minute.

Catholic school was great because the nuns pushed us hard ... academically!! Jr. High and High School were a breeze thanks to the academic standards set for us there. We were always told by the nuns and the priests that we should want to go to a good Catholic university. Of course, we all know what good Catholic university they meant: Notre Dame.

So naturally, you know what movie I'm talking about. Yeah, that one. We all, in some small way, love Rudy. It's the classic American story about the short pudgy kid who goes on to play for the most hallowed college football team in the nation even if for only one or two plays.

During Catholic school's Friday student mass, the priests would often pray for Notre Dame. During the offering, the priest would say something like "Lord, look over our departed brethren as they look to come into your eternal light and watch the boys in South Bend as our beloved Notre Dame takes on Southern California." Naturally, this sort of brainwashing had it's intended effect on me: I wanted to go to Notre Dame more than any other school in the world.

So in the movie Rudy, the movie breaks into a montage of Rudy studying, working out, sleeping in the utility room at the stadium, checking his mail and getting rejection letters. Then there's the scene where he picks up a letter from the admissions office. He walks outside sitting across the pond from campus on a bench. He opens up the letter and starts to read aloud. When he gets to the part accepting him into Notre Dame, his voice cracks, starts to cry a bit, and thanks God. If anyone knows how badly he wanted to get into Our Lady, it's me. Everytime I see this scene, I get goosebumps and have to make up some lame excuse like I need a drink or something otherwise I might start start crying like a little kid with a skinned knee.

I did apply to Notre Dame for law school and it was the only school that didn't accept me. The rejection letter was the nicest I've ever received noting that there are over 17 students applying for every seat at the law school. I still have it tucked away in some papers. I had an Ex that I lived with and her old man was a huge Michigan fan who hated Notre Dame. He bought her, as a dig at me, the book Under The Tarnished Dome and I immediately made her pack it away saying that I would not allow that sort of filth in my home. I might apply for an LLM (A masters of law) at Notre Dame in the future and take off one year to do it. Just so that I can say I went to God's school (You hear that Deeesguy, it's God's school. I'll act like a Republican or W supporter by saying "If you don't cheer for Notre Dame, you're not cheering for God.")

I Was Tagged And Didn't Even Get A Reach Around!!

Wow; I think I've had a ton of music related entries this month and last. Music is a huge part of my life, no denying. I always have music somewhere (except when I study). I can't drive with the radio off; I can't blog without music; I can't draw without music. It permeates my very being. Those of you who know me pretty well know that this is due to my awesome mother who ALWAYS had music in our home.

As for the pic, go to this website. This was what hapened with "Crash Into Me" by the beloved DMB. It's done by some sort of computer program that follows the notes with a line and then bends them according to the song. It's pretty cool Now, we're on to a music topic again! The always cute and effervescent Jen tagged me.

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you? : "911 Is A Joke" - Public Enemy (Telling lyric: " ... They don't care 'cause they stay paid anyways ... ". This is a call to revolution ... not that I would favor that sort of thing!)

Will I have a happy life? : "Nasim Joon" - O.A.R. (Telling lyric: "... Set to ride this here rail 'til the end")

What do my friends really think of me? : "La Tierra Del Olvido" - Carlos Vives (Wish my Spanish was better and then I could give you some lyrics)

What do people secretly think of me? : "Wait 'til You See Him" - Ella Fitzgerald (I'm not sure if this is a good sign or not; but Ella is fucking awesome)

How can I be happy? : "Galaxia" - Gipsy Kings (Well, I do love the guitar and I love these guys; maybe concentrating on playing the guitar will make me happy?!?!? They're coming this summer so I need to snag tickets for this show)

What should I do with my life? : "I'll Drink To That" - The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones (Telling lyric: "... The place is packed / I needed that / The bottles cracked / I'm glad for that / A good nights rest? / Forget about that / I feel alive in this dive so I'll drink to that")

Will I ever have children? : "Como Duelo En Los Labios" - Mana (If I play some music like this with the ladies, I just might .... then again ... probably not!)

What is some good advice for me? : "Simmer Down" - The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones (I think the shuffle function on my MP3 player isn't that great hence 2 Bosstones' songs so close together; actually this good advice for everyone .... except Cheri Oteri doing that skit on SNL where this was her catchphrase)

How will I be remembered? : "A Message To You Rudy" - The Specials (Telling lyrics: "... Stop your messing around / Time you straightened right out / Better think of your future / Else you'll wind up in jail ..."; what is God telling me?)

What is my signature dancing song? : "Havest Home" - Big Country (Super great song ... yeah, I'm playing air guitar while I listen to this home; I love how this band got this super distorted sound almost like bag pipes from their guitars; LISTEN TO THIS SONG: This was one of the best 80's band that is known only for one song and it is a crime to only know that song)

What do I think my current theme song is? : "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby" - Counting Crows (Deeesguy insisted once that "Holiday In Spain" is more of my theme song; Deeesguy took me to their show at Miami U in Oxford and now I am definitely a fan)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is? : "Cum On Feel The Noize" - Quiet Riot (A guilty pleasure? Sure. Is it cheesy? Sure. But admit it; in the 80's when this first came out, you were banging your head like I was. And in case you are wondering ..... yes, I am playing air guitar along with this one too)

What song will play at my funeral? : "Monkey Man" - Toots & The Maytals w/ No Doubt (When I do pass away, I want something like an Irish wake. You don't have to leave my body out for like a day or two, but I want everyone to hit the pub with an open bar, drink, laugh, and remember me for the good times; this is a fun little ditty that just might perk up the mourners!!)

What type of men/women do you like? : "Crash Into Me" - Dave Matthews Band (Maybe this is fitting considering neither Andrea Corr nor Salma Hayek, Paz Vega, Penelope Cruz, Monica Belluci, Kirsten Dunst nor Scar Jo has publicly acknowledged my love. This is a song about a peeping tom, Telling lyrics: " ... Oh I watch you there / Through the window / And I stare at you / You wear nothing / But you wear it so well ....")

What is my day going to be like? : "La Cienega Just Smiled" - Ryan Adams (Beautiful song; when I returned from my trip to Ireland to visit my friends there, this was playing on the inboard music channel the moment the wheels left the ground; maybe it's a day to remember good friends and great experiences)

Now who am I tagging? Well, I believe Mariemm, Deeesguy (you can just post yours in the comments ... unless you start you own blog like I've been bugging you to do), Andi and well ... EVERYONE who reads this should do it if you haven't already!!!

Music, Music, Music Everywhere

Mariemm and I have sorta discussed a music spot. It would be like a blog maybe but also like a forum where you could post the name of some new bands or great music. I'm not sure how to do it just yet, but I could host the blog and give everyone who wanted the opportunity to post and blog on it. I would definitely need Deeesguy to post. He is always 6 months ahead on bands. I will always say "You know I heard (band) the other day. They're great!" Deeesguy is always like "Oh, did you hear (song name)? That's a great song. I've got the CD if you want me to burn you a copy." He is the Music Man so if we all beg him enough, he might decide to become a contributor. And these are the best horrible album covers of all time. Go here for more!!
So ... anyone interested in participating?