Sunday, June 19, 2005

Shut Your Damn Kids Up

I decided to take advantage of a lazy Sunday and head over to Barnes & Noble to do some reading/writing. I grab a nice iced almond latte to offset the Ohio humidity and settle in to do some hardcore case reading and reviewing for my writing sample needed for my grad school packets. I located a nice comfy reading chair; plenty of lighting; table nearby to put down my drink ... all seems well. I grab my hi-liters and start reading. It's gonna be a productive couple of hours ... or so it seemed.

Before I know it, a couple walks in with their kid who immediately starts crying. And not just crying ... this kid is screaming bloody murder. You'd think someone was guttin' this kid across from the self help section. Of course, yuppie mom and dad just tool along like nothing is wrong. They just push the festering ball of noise along in his Eddie Bauer stroller acting as if nothing is happening. Even worse, dad decides to distance himself a bit by walking a bit ahead of his wife and demon. Get a hint people; if your kid is acting in a bookstore where people read and usually need quiet, get the fuck out of there!!! Don't take the miniature fire truck siren to the movie theater to ensure that he ruins not only your fun, but mine as well!!!

All I wanted today was some peace and quiet so that I could read and revise my paper. All I can say is that if I ever have kids of my own and I start to act like those yuppie parents with a kid screaming like a banshee, please come up behind me with a brick and smack me.

7 comments:

Modigliani said...

haha! I guess they figure there's no escape for them so why not make the rest of the world miserable, too. Jeeeeez! I little common courtesy would have been nice. Especially since both parents were there and one could have gone outside with the kid til he chilled out.

On another note, I've never had an ALMOND latte, but now I will have to have one because that sounds AWESOME! yummmm... I love almond flavored desserts. Why didn't I ever think to ask about Almond flavored syrup?!

Thanks for the tip!

Andi said...

People should have to have a license to breed. They should have to have another license to take their kids out in public.

polarcirclechica said...

This is great! This happened to me when returned back home (as it hadn't been bad enough without that). God knows how many hours with 6 (yes, 6!) screaming little boys beside me. I thought of jumping out of the plane but decided to shut those nightmares up instead...so if you need any tips for that... ;)

ago-go said...

i was at the video store last week and this dad had his 3 kids with him. the 2 who could walk were running all over the place smashing into my knees and the little one was pitching a fucking fit! in the stroller, out of the stroller, rolling on the ground, on dad's shoulders...i do not need tired kid shrieking when i'm trying to select a movie. it was so bad that my skin started itching!

seriously, i wanted to tell the dad to bring fucking reinforcements (as in mom or a babysitter who can tie-up fit-kid and sit with her in the car) next time he decides to go rent a movie.

Cincysundevil said...

Modigli-
I think you're right. If they're miserable, why shouldn't all of us be miserable as well! Oh yeah, the iced almond latte is choice.
Andi-
I like that idea. A license to breed and to take kids out in public. If I ever run for office, that will be my campaign promise.
Cami-
It was hilarious. He was a bit embarrassed maybe but he wouldn't acknowledge he was with them until she called him over.
Polar-
Good to see you back!! Too bad you didn't take any benadryl with you. The plane is impossible .. other than pushing them into the overhead bins.
Ruben-
I'm starting to feel like the preacher from "Coming To America".
Ago-Go-
Thanks for the comments! Maybe we'll go into business together and start a video store where you have to be "This high" to go in a la roller coasters!
The Dating Doctor-
Welcome to my little area of random thoughts on the net. Glad you're enjoying. I can't wait to check out what you've got going on over there on your site!

NML/Natalie said...

I don't blame you for being pissed off. Some parents have no child rearing ettiquette - it's ridiculous that some parents don't see fit to let their children know what is acceptable behavior. I wouldn't have dared to behave like that when out with mine!

Cincysundevil said...

Thanks NML
You always get me!